To unite or divide
by HakuoBlake
Summary: Naruto has been lonely and bored after rescueing Sasuke, so he befriends the Kyuubi! But what will the Ninetails do with his new friend? Become the brotherly type to Naruto! What nasty surprises with the fox pull over everyone? Yaoi,Gaara has demon
1. New Body, new rivalries for the blond!

N-cha! I was just bored out of my mind, when this just popped into my head. And Ruby wouldn't stop complaining about it until I had it down on paper...err..memory file...

**_Ruby_:This just came out of nowhere.**

I know, I know but it has a bit of humor...

**Ruby:raising eyebrow: Right... Lets move on...**

Here's the disclaimer!

**Disclaimer: why do you think I would put a disclaimer here if I owned it?! **

* * *

**xXxXxXxX**

'_**Choose well, kit. A lot is at stake here.'**_

'_I know! I know! Hmm…that one!'_

'_**..are you sure?'**_

'_YES, YES I'm sure!'_

'_**:sigh: dammit you win.'**_

"Alright!" Naruto shouted out loud. Everyone stopped talking and looked at the blond.

"Naruto , you idiot, shut up and sit down!" Sakura yelled at him, and then slapped him upside the head.

"itai….!" Naruto whined, inside the Kyuubi snickered.

"ahem. **As** I was saying before I was _interrupted_," Tsunade looked pointedly at Naruto before continuing, "About our treaty with the Sand. It seems, Gaara as the Kazekage was the best thing to happen to Sunagakure no Sato. He has started up treaties with the other villages again, and Suna thrives.."

'_blah, blah, blah. Does she ever stop being boring?!'_

'_**apparently not. She's talking about something else again.'**_

'_augh…Hey let's play again!' Naruto grinned._

'_**Bets?'**_

'_a bowl of ramen!'_

'_**you idiot . I'm inside you, how can I?'**_

'_well…y'see…there's a jutsu I've been working on…'_

Kyuubi (a/n: duh, who else is he gonna talk to?) perked up. _He may be an idiot, but he's got a knack for inventing jutsus, _Kyuubi reminded himself.

'_**Go on.'**_

Naruto grinned inside his mind. The fox always encouraged his weird jutsus.

**xXxXxXxXx**

The kyuubi and him had become good friends, since Naruto couldn't play with anyone else. Sasuke was too busy training, Sakura was practicing medicine with Tsunade. And Kakashi was nowhere to be found, as usual.

Desperate, Naruto started visiting the kyuubi's cage more and more often. Outside , in his physical body, he stayed in lotus position (?) and looked like he was meditating, for hours on end.

The old fox grew fond of Naruto as well (a/n: who wouldn't?) and dropped the arrogant, '_LOOK-at-me-the-wrong-way-and-I'll-rip-off-your-face-bitch_' attitude. So he was relatively nice to Naruto.

Except for the occasional sarcastic and/or sadistic remark here and there. (a/n: nobody's perfect.. ) And soon, Naruto

became like a son or younger brother to him.

The others didn't really notice the difference in Naruto. Gradually ,though, everyone began to note the absence of the cheerful blond…that or the lack of noise.

Everyone had thought it peculiar that Konoha was so peaceful. No one could put their finger on why it was so. It was like something was missing.

They all had been training when it finally sunk in.

Sakura had slumped down onto her knees to regain her breath. Tenten, her opponent, was beside her. Neji was still sparring with Lee, while the rest were in the grass, watching.

Somehow, Gai's team ended up sparring and training with team 7. Shikamaru was already there, watching the clouds, Choji and Ino decided to accompany the shadow user.

Kiba, Hinata and Shino had nothing better to do, so they came. Sasuke was in a tree, resting. Suddenly, Hinata stood up and walked over to Kakashi, who was reading his perverted book.

"um..Kakashi-sensei, where is N-Naruto-kun?" she asked. Kakashi looked up and around him. Neji and Lee had stopped to listen to the conversation.

All of them had noticed, and somehow training in silence , without the energetic blond seemed…empty.

Kakashi looked once more and said to Hinata, " He was gone?"

Everyone fell anime style.

Even Sasuke was waiting for the answer because, even if he denied it, he sorta missed Naruto's calming presence. The blond was the only one that turned the Ice Prince of Konoha into a regular smiling idiot-- I mean teenager.

Said Ice Prince had fallen in shock, but grabbed a branch and hoisted himself up to land gracefully on the ground.

"Whaddaya mean 'he was gone?' You didn't' notice?!" Kiba yelled while Akamaru growled. Hinata was worried.

"I-I'm gonna go find him" she said making up her mind and started walking to the forest. Neji, Sakura, Sasuke and Lee volunteered along.

"_Byakugan!" _Hinata whispered determinedly, after they had walked into a denser part of the forest. Neji had activated his _Kekkei genkai _as well. Soon there combined efforts sensed him.

All of them followed the Hyuugas to the heart of the forest. Sasuke heard crashing water in that direction, and raised an eyebrow.

Lee pointed towards the waterfall and shouted, "YOSH! Let us go to Naruto, for he is at the fountain of youth!"

Everyone sweat dropped.

Hinata had already started running towards his energy. Sakura followed closely along. Neji and Sasuke went running at breakneck speed, to get some space between them and Lee.

* * *

**XXxXxXxX**

The sound of a waterfall grew steadily from a rumble to an almost deafening roar.

As they reached a clearing at the base of a waterfall, Hinata stopped suddenly; as did Neji and Sasuke.

Sakura cradled her head in her arms. When the shock passed she looked up. "What was that?" she asked feebly.

No one answered.

They had been following Naruto's chakra signature, when it suddenly spiked up. The sheer power of the burst of energy was enough to make them physically _feel_ the air pressure change.

The group regained their breath and stepped into the clearing cautiously.

"Tsk. Naru-chan. You forgot to regulate the amount of

Chakra again" said a baritone voice.

Everyone froze at those words.

"Shaddup."

They recognized the second voice.

"…"

"Kyu?"

"**: sigh: **yes?"

"Eh heh…can you take me home? I'm to tired to move"

At this the figure threw back his head and laughed heartily. Which sounded like a feral bark of laughter. His back faced the group, so they only saw his dark black pants and long sleeved black kimono.

Everyone looked at each other, uncertain of what to do.

Hinata gathered her courage and walked timidly forward (a/n: Gasp!) "Um…e-excuse me, but could we have our friend? If you don't mind…" She added quietly. The man turned to face them.

His blood red hair was long enough to reach down to the small of his back. Some stray strands of hair fell on his face, covering his sharp red eyes. The pupils were slits and had an animalistic appearance to them.

On his cheeks were whisker marks like Naruto's, but his were thicker, darker and more prominent. And he only had two on each cheek.

When he say Hinata his face broke out into a grin. A white flashing grin that exposed his fangs.

Which **freaked** everyone out.

"Hinata-chan! How nice to see you in person!"

The stranger said.

Everyone then got a good look at what he was cradling to his chest. A blond mess of hair stuck out.

It was Naruto.

"Hey dobe! Wake the hell up!" Sasuke shouted, anxious to see Naruto away from the stranger.

The man looked at him and held Naruto closer to his chest. (A/n: He was holding him bridal style) "Shut up Sasuke-teme. Naruto belongs to **_me_**." the man said in a scary over possessive voice to rival Gaara's.

"Yosh! Who are you to squander Naruto's youthful spirit?! You have no right!" Lee said, outraged. Sakura followed Lee by shouting, "Give us our idiot back!"

The man just stared at them and replied, " Psh. Fuzzy brows and forehead girl." Lee and Sakura were enveloped in a dark swirling aura at the insult.

"Give him back to us. Like Lee said, you have no right." came Neji's monotone voice. The red-headed man smiled slyly. "I've **every** right , fate-boy " and with that, he disappeared in a burst of fire.

Everyone stayed still, staring at the scorch mark on the ground. Then Sasuke spoke up, "Did anyone else notice..?" he trailed off.

They all nodded.

The man had called them by the nicknames Naruto had given them.

**xXxXxXxX**

I'll give cookies and milk to whomever guesses right about the identity of the red head... (it's so** obvious!**)..who is really really possesive I must say...

**Ruby: Dun, dun dunnnn!!! And so the mystery unfolds...**

it's a mystery?

**Ruby:Shrugs: don't really care either way**

Gaara: When am I coming in?

Soon...next chapter maybe? Ruby?...Hey Ruby!

**Ruby:death glare: There can only be one red head on this Author's note. (Ruby is a red head, see profile)**

Gaara:glaring back: I agree.

Help?...give me 3 reviews and I'll do it during math class !!

Ja ne!


	2. Bonding and Vengeance

Ok…sorry sorry...I got distracted a bit. Thanks to these people for reviews !!!: **Sakusha Saelbu,Princess Lena aka Lady Kittuna, Heroes-of-Love,spriggan-d, shadow-dude445,Sakuralovenaruto,Inverness,Son of Sparda,Cleo Noir,Moonlight black rose and dragonjak : **you're touching encourage/threatening reveiws were an intimidation--uh I mean-- inspiration.

**The Red headed fight:**

**Ruby: Bring it btch!**

Gaara: Gladly..

**Ruby: Is that the best you got?**

Gaara: I'm just getting started.

_To be continued…._

Me: on with the fic!

**Disclaimer: If I owned it, this wouldn't be in FanFiction but on Cartoon Network every Saturday around 6. --'**

* * *

Chapter two: Bonding and Vengeance

**XxXxXxX**

"Hey kit, wake up"

"mn…." Naruto groaned, he remembered what happened and shot out of his seat. "What happened?" he asked

groggily, all the while blinking the bright light out of his eyes.

"I took you back home idiot" replied Kyuubi distractedly. The demon was sitting on the beat up couch in his living room, while he was on the other end of it.

Kyuubi nodded towards a package on the table. "MISO!!! YAY Thanks Kyuu!!" Naruto shouted and jumped up in the air and zoomed towards the kitchen.

The kitsune cringed at his new nickname, but nonetheless kept writing things down on a pad of paper.

"whatcha doin'?" The blond asked, finally leaning over Kyuubi's shoulder to look at his paper. "Revenge." was all Kyuubi said.

Naruto gulped in fear at that one word. "u-uhh..against **who** exactly?" he shakily asked.

Kyuubi looked at him and gave a light laugh. "Not like that kit. Revenge against those so called 'friends' of yours"

"oh…you won't hurt them right?" Naruto asked nervously. Kyuubi shook his head, "Pranks…wanna help me?" he asked with a leer.

Naruto nodded, then sat cross legged and thought hard. "okay who's first?"

"I was thinking of starting with the nicer ones and ending with the worst"

Naruto nodded his consent.

"Okay.. first off is... Gai and Lee." Kyuubi said chewing on the pencil in his hand, deep in thought.

"Why them? They haven't done anything bad to me lately?" Naruto asked, curious.

"they give me the creeps.." Kyuubi said shuddering.

Naruto sweat dropped and nodded in sympathy.

"by the way.." Kyuubi started, "am I able to use chakra now? Or do I wait for a while longer?"

"You should be able to, but wait so the body can get used to containing that much chakra…since I used a clone, it might need a while to become completely solid. In about a day, it will be fully developed with your healing abilities. Also you can go back inside of me too….."Naruto trailed off in thought. Kyuubi 'hmm'-ed and went back to thinking.

Then Naruto smiled evilly. "I know what we can do to them.. "

Somehow that smile scared the Kyuubi no Kitsune more than the pedophile Orochimaru.

**XxXx Somewhere in Hell…xXxX**

"Achoo!!!" Orochimaru sneezed. He sniffed and shook his head. "What's wrong with you?" Itachi asked.

"Those bastards up there must be talking about me again…" Orochimaru cursed.

**XxXx Back in Konoha, training ground xXxX**

" Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

Naruto and Kyuubi gagged in the bushes. "**Oh my frickin god!** It's worse in real life! And what is up with the sunset in the background? It's noon!" the Kyuubi asked the blond, who was hiding with him.

"I knew there was a reason I never came to watch them train.." Naruto muttered darkly, retching in a nearby bush.

"Okay, what ever. Ready kit?"

"ready Niisan!" Naruto cheered. Kyuubi sweat dropped at yet _another_ of Naruto's weird names for him.

Naruto transformed into Sakura and headed towards the sunset, trying hard not to hurl.

After that, they headed towards their next victim on their list. "Kakashi-sensei… hmm. He's a tough one" Naruto pondered aloud while they were walking on rooftops to where his perverted sensei (the **other** one) lived, supposedly.

"why? He looks like an easy target to me." Kyuubi responded.

"yeah I know. There are so many things to do to him I don't know what to choose." Naruto grinned closing his eyes and showing off his teeth.

Kyuubi sighed and said, "kit, don't wear that mask while you're around me. It doesn't work."

Naruto turned suddenly serious, he sighed, defeated, "Fine…Oh! I know" He said grinning evilly once again.

This time though Kyuubi caught on to his idea through his mind link to Naruto, and grinned similarly to the blond.

Taking out a permanent marker Kyuubi uncapped it and said, "so where does he live again?"

"NEXT! Ero-sennin!" Naruto read off Kyuubi's list. They both though long and hard while heading toward a bar with a pretty good view of a woman's bath house.

"ero-sennin huh? Hey! That's it!" kyuubi smacked his fist against his open hand in realization. Naruto did his

'huh?' face (a/n: copyrighted to Masashi Kishimoto) and Kyuubi leaned in and whispered his plan to him.

Earning him a _real_ smile from the blond.

"Tsunade aka Obaasan" Kyuubi said leaning against the glass of the Hokage office. There sat the pride of Konoha, drunk and asleep on her desk.

" Gimme the marker kit. I got dibs on this one.." Kyuubi said opening his hand for the marker.

"aww… why?" The blond whined.

"All those times she hit you….it's my payback." Kyuubi said with an evil look on his face.

Naruto gulped and saw the reason the Kyuubi was feared among the tailed demons.

After a couple of minutes the window opened again and out stepped the kitsune, looking pleased with himself.

"No one hurts my ototou and gets away with it.." he whispered menacingly, while standing on the window ledge overlooking the village.

And then proceeded to losing his scary look by being glomped by his 'ototou', Naruto.

"what are you going to do with all this toilet paper, if you don't mind me asking?" the store keeper asked him. Naruto just shrugged and _smiled_, not grinned his fake smile, at the owner.

The owner, being graced by the blonds contagious smile, just beamed back at him.

Kyuubi was behind Naruto, precariously balancing a bag of hot pink spray paint.

"let's see…Sasuke should be training right now and will be getting back this afternoon…" Naruto said, reading off his list.

"So it's off to Uchiha mansion?" Kyuubi said smirking.

Naruto nodded his agreement.

As the sun was almost setting (for real this time) two figures headed towards the Kunoichi's houses.

"The last two on the list.." Kyuubi shuddered in suppressed rage, "Ino and Sakura-bitch"

Naruto looked at him, "Niisan, you _really_ hate Sakura don't you?"

Kyuubi just growled at this and said, "Why do you like her?" he asked. Naruto shrugged, "used to. Now I don't," Kyuubi sighed in relief at this, "but I have a prank reserved especially for those two…" he said smirking sadistically.

Then he took out two bottles and showed them to Kyuubi. He peered closer at them, using the last rays of sun.

"Pink hair dye and hair bleach?" Kyuubi asked him. Naruto nodded and whispered to the fox his plan.

Kyuubi smiled at the prospect.

As the sun finally set, the two headed towards the training grounds, using the darkness as a cover. Somehow, Kyuubi managed to "borrow" Sakura's stereo, for reasons unknown to Naruto.

Kyuubi had wanted to train, to test out the new body. So around 8:00 they were in the training ground nearest to the forest.

They stretched and warmed up and then stood couple of feet away from each other. The shining orb of a moon shining down silver light on them.

Then Kyuubi turned on a song.

Naruto tilted his head to listen, it was Linkin Parks' "Breaking the Habit". Again he put his face in a 'huh?' manner (copyright--wait I went over this!)

"what are we going to do with that?" He asked Kyuubi as the song crackled to life in the speakers.

"only Taijutsu match. The song, as you will see, will regulate your pace in punches and kicks. You may be surprised at this. It's sort of like…dancing." Kyuubi explained, "You move your body to the beat of the song with out effort."

"oh…I get it!" Naruto said seriously. He had taken off his 'mask' all of the day while being around his 'Niisan' and was really smart, below the 'dobe' disguise.

Kyuubi nodded and started as the song began.

The upbeat skips of the song's intro were fast paced as Naruto followed it and threw punch after punch at the red-heads torso (a/n: he's so short).

Then as the music cresendoed to a burst of sound as he aimed a kick at Kyuubi's face.

Kyuubi took it softly, as did Naruto and started with basic kicks and light punches.

While the words and beat took up a pattern; so did the two fighters.

Punch, punch, kick, dodge and jump. Then start all over again.

By the time the song reached it's fast paced climax by singing: '_I don't know what's worth fighting for' _with the violins in the background as accompaniment, both demons (a/n: Naruto's pretty much considered a half demon) were all out fighting, kicking and punching in rhythm with the music.

Their bodies moving without any command, as a natural reflex.

Movements, punches and strikes were all fluid and were flawlessly delivered without mercy.

And then the song ended, the moon in the middle of the darkened sky, only to find the two leaning against each other panting and sweating.

Kyuubi supported Naruto as they walked slowly back to his apartment. The blond remembered Kyuubi using the excuse "Sakura will have it in the morning" to leave the radio behind.

Finally they both collapsed on the sofa, not even making it to the bed. "Man…I'm never listening to that song the same way ever again." Naruto said before drifting off to the comforting darkness.

But not before he heard the Kyuubi chuckle an agreement.

**XxXxXxXxX **

There! Done ! The funny part being that my math teacher actually _encouraged_ me to write the song/sparring scene. Sorry for any Sakura fans..I'm not really fond of her. Unless she's _really_ OOC

Translations:

obaasan: grandma

Niisan: older brother

outouto: younger brother

Dobe: dead last

**xXxXxX**

**Ruby: you were listening to Linkin Park again, weren't you?**

Me: hehe…so? Their songs are so…energetic…it's hard not to…

Naruto: what pranks did I play? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Me: you'll find out in Chapter three: Misconceptions galore!!

**Ruby: that's a really weird chapter name..**

Me: **(sigh) **Naruto, how do you stand the Kyuubi?

Naruto: **(depressed)** who says I do?

**Kyuubi: Yatta! Making them suffer is fun! (hi fives Ruby)**

Me: it's a conspiracy!!

Gaara: **_Why_** wasn't **I **in this chapter.

**Ruby: don't you _dare _even threaten us, sand-boy.**

Me: don't worry ch. 3 will concern you. And I wanted to do a bonding thing with Naruto and Kyuubi.

**Ruby: 2 more reviews than last time **(13)**(glares and glances pointedly at gun in hand) ...or die.**

Me: Ruby!

**Ruby: (mutters) …._please._**


	3. Misunderstandings Galore!

Thanks to these people: Cleo Noir, Jirian-Hatake,Firekyoakira26921181,Shinigami ,Chibi Strawberry,Moonlight black rose  
spriggan-d,projectace, the ice wolf alchemist, conlan0414863...its because of you guys that I keep writing!!

-1Sorry, sorry…I got carried away with manga reading than writing. But hey, you can't rush brilliance right?

**Ruby: Brilliance? Is _that_ what you call it?**

Me: **(Vein popping) **As much as I enjoy your _pleasurable _sarcasm, weren't you wanting to talk about your fight?

**Ruby: ok, so it went like this….**

**XxXxXx Enter lame flashback mode XxXxXxX**

Gaara: you are a formidable foe, but….I am better.

**Ruby: just make the damn move already!!**

Gaara: fine

**Ruby: ….! (clack)**

Gaara: ….?**(clack)**

**Ruby:….(clack)**

Gaara: ….!**(clack)**

**Ruby: HA! Take that! CHECKMATE!! (SMASH!!)**

Ragnor **(ruby's sensei)**: checkmate? What the hell?!

Me: oh! You didn't know? They were playing checkers….

Ragnor:….** (sweat drop) (face vault)**

Me: hey Ragnor-sensei? You okay? Why'd you fall on you head like that?

Ragnor: **(groan)**

Gaara: Any particular reason you trashed the checker board?

**Ruby: NOPE!! None at all!!! (smile, shojo stars with bubbly pink balloons in background)**

Gaara:…your eagerness to answer that with a smile on your face is particularly and sickeningly disturbing….

**XxXxX end flashback!! XxXxX**

Right….on with the lame attempt at humor!! Er I mean, fic!!

**Ruby: (evil smile) oh, so now she's self insulting? This is going to be good..**

**Disclamer: no, no, and wait for it …. _no._**

Ch.3 Misunderstandings Galore!!

"unn…what time do we have to be at Tsunade 's for a mission?" Naruto sleepily asked.

"If I'm not mistaken --13 minutes ago" Kyuubi answered from the

back of his mind.

"WHAT!!" the blond yelled and shot out of bed and stumbled around his room looking for his equipment. "Damn. My clothes are dirty!" Naruto swore, frustrated, as he packed kunai and a couple of scrolls onto his pack.

"I can help you with that, come here" The fox said. Naruto managed to calm down enough to go to inside his mind. Kyuubi then proceeded to slip through the bars and laid two fingers on Naruto's forehead. Then he released fires all around him, that engulfed the blond in flames.

When the fires dissipated the blond looked at his new attire. His headband was black instead of it's usual blue, and he wore a tiht red muscle shirt ninja mesh underneath, with a black long sleeve jacket/shirt that had the sleeves rolled up elbow high.

His black pants were like the standard ninja's, loose but not overly,; even with red bandages tied around the shins.

He had a chained leather belt with the kanji for demon around his waist. Another red Kanji in the back of his jacket read 'fox'. His fingerless black gloves were steel plated and on the right was engraved the kanji for 'darkness' while on the left was the kanhi for 'lights'.

He looked at his clothes. " Didn't you overdo, it a bit with the black and red, Niisan?" The blond asked, inspecting his jacket.

The Kyuubi saddened, " You don't like it?" He pouted childishly (A/N: Imagine the sight, Kyuubi no Kitsune _pouting._ What has Naruto reduced him to ?) Naruto shook his head and glomped him.

"Ne, It's better than my orange outfits," Kyuubi brightened at this "plus, it compliments you !!" the blond said while hugging

Kyuubi(A/N: **Brothers, BROTHERS YOU HENTAIS!!**

The fox ruffled his hair in a brotherly way. "still, there's something missing…oh yeah!" Kyuubi smacked his forehead and packed Naruto in the chest. The Uzumaki spiral (?) flared and settled on the shirt; it glowed on eerie white before it established on a silvery blue.

"Holy crap! Tsunade-baachan's gonna kill me!" Naruto yelled remembering the meeting. When he went back to the physical world he saw that Kyuubi had come back with him.

Kyuubi wordlessly grabbed him by the collar and poofed them both to Hokage tower.

**XxXxXxXxXxX **

"I say we pound him till he dies, resurrect him and kill him again!"

"yes, I agree with Jiraiya-sama, my springtime of youth has been soiled"

"Kakashi, my eternal rival, what do you say about this?" (a/n: you know who that is..)

Dead silence.

"…Hm? Did you say something Gai?"

"Calm down, we'll wait until we hear his side on this and then we pound him" Tsunade waved it off. She was in the Hokage chair with Jiraiya to her right and the rest, consisting of Gai, Lee,

Kakashi and Sasuke, were in front of her, glaring at the door.

Poor door.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxX**

"Ne, onii-chan, do you think they've noticed yet--?"

"That would be a yes, kit" Kyuubi responded with amusment in his voice.

Naruto had walked into the office and almost instantly hid behind the fox.

A dark deadly aura surrounded everyone else in the room. A heavy silence loomed overhead, the lack of noise unnerving.

Then the two demons burst out in peals of laughter. If possible, the aura became darker and the distant rumble of thunder could be heard, along with _dun dun dunnnnn_.

Tsunade, the pride and glory of Konoha, had her face stamped with sayings like 'I'm old' and 'baachan' in neat black marker. The toad hermit was contemplating on how to kill Naruto for having his forehead written on ("Ero-sennin" in neon pink) and having his hair tinted with pink (to match the forehead) highlights.

Lee… well lets just say you couldn't tell where his horrid greed jumpsuit ended and where it began.

Gai, courtesy of the neighborhood dye specialist, had his sparkling _white _smile turned to a stunning **blue**.

Kakashi, since they couldn't find him, had all his uniforms written on. Things referring to his perverted orange book. That's all that need to be said about that.

"-HAHA- you guys all -HAHA- look r-ridiculus -HAHA-!!!!"

" God! Didn't think the green horror could get worse!" Kyuubi roared, leaning against Naruto for support.

Sasuke had been brooding in a corner for this charade but had somehow snuck up behind the blond and was about to hit him upside the head but was stopped. The killer intent rolling off the red head in waves could do that to you.

"**So much as touch him… and your head is _mine_ Uchiha .**"

Kyuubi growled in a voice laced with promises of hurt and pain.

The light mood was instantly frozen over by the spite dripping from the words.

Being an Uchiha, and thus too proud to admit defeat, Sasuke settled for insults instead.

"oi, dobe. What the hell did you do to my house?" Sasuke asked menacingly, and pointed to the window; where Uchiha manor was clearly visible.

Yes, Uchiha manor. That dark, scary as hell house that always seemed to somehow repel all sunny weather. Choosing to have thunderstorms and rain showers 24/7 instead.

That scary house was different today though. The author couldn't quite put her finger on it. Maybe it was the fact that the freakishly scary mansion was covered top to bottom in…

… toilet paper and graffitti.

Wait-- what?! Did the insane author just write that? Oh _this _aught to be good….yep.

_Toilet paper_ and **graffiti. **

Can't wait for them to explain this one.

The skinny, dead trees were teepee-d. All around were white strips of fluttering paper flying in the wind.

And throughout the house were the words "teme" in hot pink.

One look at that and the two demons busted out laughing again. Sasuke looked murderous. The rest looked absolutely _livid_ with suppressed rage. Tsunade looked like she was about to say something but was stopped abruptly by a screech.

"NAARUUTOOOO!!!!" Rang out throughout Konoha.

The Hokage door was slammed open (poor door) and there stood two kunoichi's, fists clenched in anger and leaking killer intent.

The pink haired ninja spoke up first ,"This joke has gone too far!!"

while the blond followed up with, "Naruto you _idiot!!_" Naruto jumped into Kyuubi's shielding arms.

"Aniki! Their eyes, THEY BURN!!!" the blond trembled. Said aniki was watching the two girls with half contempt and half wary eye, seeing if they try to attack his kit.

Ino's beautiful blond hair had been dyed a stunning bright…_pink_.

While Sakura's pink locks were now bleached blond.

Everyone started laughing, even Sasuke. _Finally the fan girls get their punishment!_ he thought with a smirk.

Suddenly, two kunais were pressed against either side of Kyuubi's neck. Kakashi and Jiraiya flanked the fox's left and right, faces serious.

Tsunade stepped forward, gesturing towards the blond in his arms she demanded," Give me the boy" Lee, Sasuke, Ino and Sakura were confused at the scene that was unfolding. So as a writers convinience they--uh _conveniently _faded into the background.

Kyuubi growled deep in his throat, until Naruto tugged on his shirt. Kyuubi gazed deep into is eyes.

A silent conversation passed between them, unitl finally the red head let the boy go reluctantly.

_**BONK!**_

"Itai…Obaasan that hurt…" Naruto whined, clutching his head in pain. Kyuubi had to be restrained form killing her there and then.

A vein appeared on the Hokage's forehead, she smiled cruelly and said, "get over in brat. And I'm NOT OLD!"

" now, onto the mission. Gai, lee, Ino you three are dismissed." Tsunade said flatly, waving them off. The three bowed and glared at Naruto in promises of revenge.

Tsunade looked at Kyuubi expectantly and announced, "I hope who ever you are, that you will see that Naruto behaves himself. Now leave."

Kyuubi sighed and muttered under his breath something about "…decade old hags and their stinkin' rules…" To which Tsunade heard and twitched visibly. "otouto, we'll cause some more damage next time, ne?" the fox said, grinning.

"Hai, aniki" Naruto said sadly when Kyuubi poofed out of his physical form. The look on his face made Tsunade feel bad about taking away the only supposed family from him. He was, after all, like a little brother to her.

"you may meet your brother when you return, Naruto" she said softly. Naruto nodded, his mood lightened. Sasuke and Sakura were thinking differently, more along the lines of :

"_WTF? They're related?!"_

"your mission is to go to Suna and act as representatives of Konoha's alliance with Sand, for some important meeting yadda yadda…" she trailed off uninterested.

Couple of raised eyebrows were all she got in response.

"it's mainly because Naruto's on your team. One- the old coots came up with the brilliant idea that the only way to control a demon container in to influence it with another demon container."

Everyone nodded, understanding, they all knew Naruto had the Kyuubi no Kitsune inside of him. The details a bit sketchy. Naruto squirmed in nervousness; this subject was touchy.

"Two-" continued Tsunade, "Naruto is one of the few people that Gaara will actually let near him. Without killing him in a horribly and indescribably painful death.." she whispered this last part to herself.

Naruto gave an uncertain laugh and scratched the back of his head when everyone turned to him.

Then he jumped up and yelled, "YATTA! We're going to see Pandaman! Pandaman!" he kept chanting this weird mantra over and over again.

"Naruto, what are you wearing?" Sakura asked pointing at his clothes. The Kyuubi bristled at the tone of her voice.

'_she **dare **to give us fashion tips? With **that** harido?" _the fox wasn't going to take that.

Sasuke noticed the change in attire with a silently raised eyebrow.

While Tsunade saw the kanji written all over him with a sweat drop. Obviously the Kyuubi had given fashion tips.

"oh this, ehehe… well I have a good excuse-- I mean reason!

Yeah.." Naruto trailed off.

'_Kyuubi, a little help here ?'_

'_**uh…your clothes are in the wash?' **_

'_brilliant!'_

"my clothes are in the wash, yeah they are. I'm sure of it!" he said nodding to himself.

"Could you make it sound like you're not trying to convince yourself brat?" grumbled Tsunade, before dismissing them.

**XxXxXxXxXxX **

They stood in fromt of Konoha's gates waiting to be let out when they heard a flapping of wings above them. Team 7 tensed and looked up ready to fight I needed.

A Suna pidgeon carrier dove landed swiftly on Naruto's shoulder, pecking affectionately at his ear. Naruto laughed and held out his arm, so that the bird could stand at the crook of his elbow.

" Hey Norimaki-chan! Another letter? Thanks!" Naruto said petting the smooth brown feathers.

Naruto took the letter and read it while still absentmindedly ( he does that a lot, huh?) petting the pidgeon. He smiled while reading the letter, a real smile.

Sasuke and Sakura froze.

_They _never got a smile like that from the blond before. Grins only, not a caring warm smile. Jealousy and guilt flooded through both of their veins. _'who is this person? _We _know him longer!!' _they both thought heatedly.

They procedded to clear their thoughts to something less sadistic and this crossed their mind: _'whoever they are, they must be kind, patient and extremely friendly to Naruto…'_

Meanwhile, Naruto, ignoring the wide variety of expressions his teammates were showing, was talking to the bird while writing back on a scroll that appeared out of nowhere.

"mm… I'm going there right now in fact.."

"_coo?"_

"what do you mean?"

"_coooo" _the pidgeon 'coo-ed' suggestively. Naruto turned red at this accusation.

"WHAT!"

"coo."

"whatever bird! Just take the damn letter!"

Naruto shouted back and threw the bird in to the air.

The teammates both sweat dropped at the blonds conversation with the pidgeon '_must be the Kyuubi inside of him'_ they reasoned.

**XxXxXxX somewhere near Suna, couple days later xXxXxX**

The three figures crouched against the sand storm they were trying to cross. The fine grains of sand swirled around their forms, pelting any bare skin not covered with cloth.

At last, they saw the giant wall that was Suna's barrier.

The one leading the group motioned for them to hurry up, the sandstorm dying down.

The two following nodded and ran up to a sand dune that over looked the glorious city.

One of the travelers pulled down her scarf and breathed. "hahah…this extreme weather is what makes Suna ninjas so durable." Sakura said, huffing in order to gain her breathe.

Sasuke nodded in his agreement, sweat trickling down his neck.

"hey look there's someone down there, waiting for us!" Naruto nodded pointing down towards the city's gates.

Sasuke and Sakura followed his line of view and sucked in another heavy breath as they registered the shock of red hair and the heavy kohl lined pale green eyes.

"Naruto." Sabaku no Gaara said softly as he spotted the three ninjas looking at his direction.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

That last part was very detailed, didja notice? Any ways sorry for not updating earlier!! **(bows deeply) **It's kinda hard to type and correct my own stuff ! and I just **know** there is something off with my style... please, if you spot it tell me!!! Finally Gaara shows up!! Now to the commentators.!!

**Ruby: it's about time, baka.**

Gaara:… (he's happy that he finally showed up and thus says nothing to insult and/or compliment the author)

Ragnor: WAIT! Why am I still here?

Me: I should type faster….

**Ruby : Two more reviews than last time… please….. Or I'll (censored) , (censored) till you all die and then there will be some serious (censored) massacring going on around here.**

Me: okay…that's just abusing the censored sign a _tiny _bit.

**Ruby: (censored) I'm censor happy.**

**Jaa ne!!!**


	4. My friend's protector

I haven't invited any one from the cast because...because...(**sob)**...wahhhh!!!! Ruby-kun you tell them!!!! **(runs off crying)**

**Ruby: (sighs)Mendokuse...her cat got run over today...in front of her house.**

Naruto: don't cry Hakuo-chan!! NIISAN!!

Kyuubi: **(sighs)** fine you can hug me...

**(latches herself to Kyuubi's neck, and sobs uncontrollably)**

**Ruby: you BETTER not go all emo and stop writing stories baka!**

**(incoherent mumbling from the back of Kyuubi)**

Kyuubi:she says she will write even more because of her depression...WTF!!

**Ruby: she's weird like that...(sweatdrops) **

**disclaimer: no and no (sob)**

* * *

To unite or divide ch. 4

* * *

Naruto ran all the way down the sand dune, Sakura and Sasuke behind him taking their time. 

'_Where does the dobe get so much energy from?'_ Sasuke thought.

Naruto then proceeded to trip and roll down the rest of the way.

'_**This is fun!' **_kyuubi said from the back of his head.

Naruto spit out sand as he kept rolling down. Until he abruptly stopped as he hit something solid.

"oww… my head…" the blond clutched his head, mind spinning.

A pale hand offered leverage so Naruto looked up; blue eyes watery from the pain.

"Naruto-kun" said a soft voice, "are you unharmed?"

"Gaara-kun!" **_'Shukaku-chan!' _**

Both Kyuubi and Naruto shouted out loud. The blond took the hand and rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment. "that was fun. Next time we can ride on your sand sled, ne?"

Gaara tilted his head and smiled a tiny bit. "you can let go of my hand now."

Sasuke and Sakura were alert, now that they had reached the gates.

'_who knows? Gaara might still revenge' _Sakura though furrowing her brows.

"oh yeah! Sorry Gaara, my heads all spinny!" Naruto shouted, waving his arms around for effect.

Sasuke eyed Gaara's movement wearily,_' I don't care what the Hokage said. The freak might not kill him but he will hurt the dobe for--'_ Sasuke stopped mid thought (you can do that?)

Naruto had glomped the Kazekage, showing him what a hug felt like. Sakura tensed, as did Sasuke. Gaara stayed the same arms crossed on his chest, unsure of what to do.

"dobe… get **off **the Kazekage!" Sasuke told him, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him back.

"_NOO! _Teme, let go! Panda-man, save me!" Naruto yelled, death grip around the red head's shoulders. He hooked his ankles around Gaara's waist, officially clinging onto said sand user.

Sasuke was having some difficulties but he was removing Naruto's grip in by inch.

That is, until another force interrupted and immobilized the blonde. Looking over his shoulder the Uchiha saw the Kazekage giving him an ice cold glare, practically screaming "keep holding him and your head is mine"

The Uchiha backed down as Naruto cheered "kyu-onii-chan says hi to Shukaku-san" Naruto told the red head, who was holding him so he wouldn't fall (or be taken away by Sasuke)

"how was your trip?" he asked.

"huh? Oh yeah…well teme and Haruno-san did okay. I was just thinking how to do my new trick for Shu-chan"

Gaara listened absorbing every word before nodding and gently letting the blonde down from his arms.

He looked at the others and tilted his head towards the entrance," the meeting will be held in 3 hours, I will accompany you to your rooms in my own home. Come."

Sasuke and Sakura bowed politely (he was still the Kazekage) and followed the red head and their blond teamate.

**XxXxXxX near Kazekage's estate xXxXxXxX**

'_that dobe… he'll pay for this!' _Sasuke thought evilly.

'_I can't believe that baka! Does he have NO respect for any Kage?" _Sakura thought silently fuming.

While his teammates kept on raging, they were nearing the front door inside the Kazekage's massive estate. Naruto was talking in a low voice about his plan.

"…they said they won't wreak havoc and terrorize innocent citizens. All you need to do is a bunshin clone… and make it fall asleep to release Shukaku in him. Niisan agrees with the idea as well…" Naruto trailed off thinking.

Gaara calmly regarded his friend.

"I think it's a great idea, Naruto-kun" he said simply. Naruto

looked up from his musing.

"..you think it's good? REALLY?!" he shouted at the red head, and then shrank form the killer intent the two leaf ninja were giving him.

"BAKA! DON'T SHOUT AT THE KAZEKAGE!" Sakura

screeched at him before hitting him on the head, making him crouch down and hold his head in pain.

Sasuke put a foot on Naruto's back, sighing in frustration," Dobe, learn some respect…"

"teme… get your foot OFF my 'fox' kanji!" Naruto shouted, still crouched. Suddenly, the weight was taken off of him and Naruto finally turned around.

Both of the leaf ninja were being held in a prison made of sand. Gaara had his hand held out, threatening to perform Sabaku kyu (?)

"hurt him and I will not be responsible for your deaths. Okaasan and Shukaku don't like to see Naruto in pain" Gaara said deceivingly calm, eyes cold and unforgiving.

"what's going on here? Came a voice from the doorway. They all turned around and Temari.

She had here still spiky ponytails and the same outfit fit, but her features were that of a matured woman. She looked questioningly at Gaara.

"otouto…what were you going to do?" she asked nervously at the old glint on bloodlust in his eyes.

"kill them" he answered calmly.

"KILL THEM?! But--but you can't! they're our ambassadors!" she yelled pointing at the prison.

Said ambassadors let out a breath they didn't know they were holding.

"they hurt Naruto-kun"

Temari stopped instantly. "oh...okay then, go ahead." she said carelessly, without noticing the complete 360 on her attitude.

"NANI?!" Sakura shouted Sasuke settled for glaring. Then a small voice spoke:

"please don't kill teme and Haruno-san…Tsunade wouldn't like the paperwork involved.

Temari turned around and her eyes went all sparkly.

Kyuubi sensed danger.

"KYAAAAA!!!! Naru-chan! You're so…so …_KAWAII_!!" She squealed in a startling resemblance to a rabid fan girl.

Now there is something you need to know about contained demons:

It is unbecoming of a contained demon to:

1) get glomped by a probably sugar high blond fan girl

2) being squished against said fan girl's breasts (not that it isn't nice…)

3) your container reacting to this by purring while being petted….PETTED FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!

But defying all demon laws (that she didn't know about) Temari did exactly all three shown above.

Gaara looked back at the two 'prisoners' and let them go, reluctantly. He went over to where his sister proceeded to keep petting Naruto until he made a steady rumbling sound in the back of his throat.

Kyuubi started to bash his head against the walls of his prison.

Repeatedly.

"Temari...please don't kill him." Gaara said, while Shukaku laughed his head off at his fellow demon's embarrassment.

"but...but Gaara!" Temari pleaded still holding Naruto to her chest (niceeee….can't breath!!) "just look at him! He's like a cute, vagabond, huggable, bloodthirsty demon vessel!!"

Gaara stared at her then calmly replied "your words are total opposites… and you are suffocating my friend"

When Temari finally let go of Naruto, he coughed and took a big gulp of air," It's…nice…to see…you too…temari-neechan…" he coughed out.

The blond kunoichi grinned sheepishly. Naruto hugged Gaara again and dragged him to the house, chatting about nonsense.

Temari smiled at seeing her brother so accepted by someone outside his family; then she looked disdainfully at the two left and nodded to the door.

"c'mon. Your rooms are this way." she said curtly. The two followed nervously.

**XxXxXxX dining table xXxXxXx**

"…the rules. And so the loser brought a real sword!" Kankuro said before bursting into laughter along with Naruto and Temari.

Temari, being polite (she hasn't forgotten earlier 'incident') turned to Sakura.

"do you have anything to share, Sakura-san?" she asked. Sakura swallowed her food, and thought a while.

"There was a mission that kept getting as chunnin, remember Naruto?" she said smiling slightly.

Naruto shivered.

"That damn cat…he's got it out for me. I know it!" he said shaking at the mere memory. Sasuke smirked.

"The cat always chose Naruto to attack!" She gave a giggle.

"Yeah…even thought dobe kept promising over and over again that he would find the cat first. I always managed to save his ass. Some ninja." Sasuke said.

'_**Kit, keep your cool…' **_kyuubi warned.

'_Don't worry, I've got my mask!' _

"Please, parakeet-head-san. It's not my fault cats plot my downfall." Naruto said with an utmost calm to rival Gaara's (who sat at the end of the table, silently watching).

Temari respected his patience, if it would have been her, Uchiha

Would be dead already.

Sasuke faltered, then frowned slightly 'the dobe's been getting patient…let's fix that.'

"Your outfit is stupid and your bunshins suck" Sasuke dared.

Naruto twitched.

Kyuubi bristled.

Sasuke smirked wider. The room deathly silent.

'**_Kit, even though he's a _**_TOTAL_** JACKASS_!! Don't do anything stu--" _**

"Bastard! Your fireballs only work to make s'mores!" Naruto

shouted pointing across the table.

'_**--stupid. **_**:sigh: ****_never mind, continue. And get that BASTARD back for insulting your clothes!!'_**

"dobe."

"_teme."_

"**baka."**

"**parakeet-head!!"**

"_dead-last."_

"**FREAKY EYED CREEP!!"**

'_that's it! NO ONE insults my eyes!' _Sasuke fumed. He was about to retort when Sakura, who the author thinks hasn't been bashed enough yet, (on with the reasons to bash her!) beat him to it.

"NARUTO NO BAKA! DON'T START UP FIGHTS WITH SASUKE-KUN AND THEN INSULT HIM!" she shouted and

whapped him hard upside the head.

At that, Sasuke sneered and excused himself Sakura following him like a shadow. The door shut with a final 'click'.

Naruto kept looking at the door, sighed and spoke out loud to kyuubi:

"kyu, is murdering you teammate still illegal?"

'_**yes, I've been trying to find a loophole for the past…oh yeah! FOUR YEARS! The best I've come up with is poisoning..' **_

Naruto shook his head and turned around laughing weakly.

"sorry about that. I'll clean up their plates…"

The blonde said apologetically. He was about to get up when Tamari's voice stopped him.

"Naruto… what was that?" she asked in deadly calm. Kankuro's cheeriness was long gone and Gaara seemed to clutching his chopsticks a little too tightly.

"oh, that? Don't worry about it that always happens!" Naruto said waving it aside.

**CRACK!**

Naruto jumped ,slightly. Three resounding cracks lined the table where the siblings gripped it in anger.

"always happens? You mean the Uchiha, the BASTARD that you risked your LIFE for; starts a fight with you, beats you up and pinkie blames you?!" Kankuro said, his voice rising.

Naruto looked down and nodded slightly. Temari sighed as Gaara tried to burn through the wall and kill the Uchiha with his glare .

"naru-chan… you repeatedly risked your life for those people, almost died for one actually. And all you get is this? No respect, no gratitude; there's something off here," Temari continued, " in Suna, we respect each other and their techniques. Making fun of your best jutsu isn't right . You know that."

Naruto stared at the ground, he felt the cold sensation when he did something wrong.

Kankuro continued with the lecture "what I want to know is what happened earlier, where you got hit by pinkie"

Naruto sighed and said, "I raised my voice at Gaara and Sakura thought it was disrespectful"

Temari raised her eyebrow, "what did you yell?"

" 'really'…" Naruto quoted, remembering.

"why'd you yell that?" Kankuro asked, confused.

Before Naruto could answer Gaara said, " I told him his idea was good"

"A compliment? You overreacted for a compliment? Why?"

The blonde shuffled his feet and whispered something. But everyone heard it.

The siblings felt sickened (Kankuro), sympathetic (Temari) and furious (Gaara).

"Naruto" said blond raised his head," you're our family too. Remember that."

Naruto did a double take _'family…?'_

Temari continued, "and for the rest of your stay, I want you to take off the mask."

"but...but.." Naruto protested weakly.

"**Drop. The. Mask. And. Go. To. Bed.**" Temari said in her non-arguable sister voice.

He sighed in defeat, waved goodbye and went to his room.

The dining room stayed silent until they heard…

"I HAVE A FAMILY!"

… being shouted from Naruto's room. Then followed by a:

"NARUTO! SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP!"

…Sakura stopped shouting when she heard a warning kunai embed itself into her door.

The three siblings resolved to get their kunai back in the morning. They were too tired to deal with it at the moment. The words Naruto mumbled, echoed around their heads:

"_It was the first time someone else noticed what I did…"_

_-owari-_

_

* * *

_

**Ruby:send her gifts to make her feel better and write even faster.**

**And now for shameless advertisement...Naruto?**

Naruto: hey, Ruby-kun, what's GaaXNaru?

**Ruby: I'll tell you when you're older... if you DO know what it means and you like to read it check out HakuoBlake's Help me to cope!!!!**

**Review!!! for the sake of the author getting over her sadness!!!!**


	5. Filler! Arrival of Shu!

Sorry sorry...call it writers block if you will.

**Ruby: procrastinator...**

If you have any idea for any plot of any kind please email me or leave it in a review ?

**Ruby: do you really think that will work?**

KAWAII NO JUTSU!! ultra chibi! Please!!

**Ruby: sad...**

Disclaimer: no. just go away!!

* * *

Unite or divide ch.5

The sunlight streamed through the windows and hit the hard wood floor. Light splayed all around. Green eyes fluttered open and Sakura stretched.

After putting her clothes on she checked her hair. "Sasuke-kun is sure to like me!" she cheered. '_YATTA! And maybe Naruto-baka will die today!' _(Don't you just love to hate her?)

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

Sasuke was already there, drinking tea calmly. Sakura practically skipped over to his side.

Raising a fine black eyebrow, Sasuke ignored her and continued drinking. Temari and Kankuro came and sat down a little while later.

"Where's Naruto?" Sakura asked. Sasuke listened intently, he himself had been wondering about that.

"He's in Gaara's room." Temari answered in short clipped tones, not looking up from her toast.

Team 7 looked at each other with raised eyebrows.

**BOOM! **

The whole house shuddered, dust falling off the roof.

"What the hell?" Sakura yelled, standing up in alarm. Sasuke was already up and standing over the entrance to the hallway.

The house was silent as the dust settled back down.

Until it was broken by:

"Naruto-kun!"

"owowowowowowowow!!!!"

"was that Gaara?" Kankuro asked Temari. She shrugged but looked worried. They all heard a door open and footsteps coming down.

Two pairs were light while another two were slightly heavier, Sasuke noted.

Four more people entered the room. Naruto was wearing his red and black outfit, and Gaara his usual maroon(?). The other two were a head taller than the two jinchuuriki and looked like adults in their mid-20s.

"you!" Sasuke said and pointed to the red-haired one. He looked at the Uchiha and sneered. "look. It's the ungrateful brat." The other one had spiky sandy brown hair almost like Gaara's. his eyes were yellow and had thick rings around them. He was also very tan.

He wore basic ninja pants, brown and bandaged around the shins. A baggy black shirt that was open and reached down to his waist (think Sanosuke from Rouroni Kenshin). Bandages covered his entire torso, couple shuriken in a pack at his thigh.

Naruto was getting nervous and scratched the back of his head, " ah… umm…Temari-nee, could Shu and Kyu stay with us?"

Temari looked at him and walked over. She peered down at his face. "no. You're still wearing it."

He started to protest, " I was practicing with Gaara in the morning!" Kyuubi (for it was him) stepped over to the blondes.

"Let me try"

He stared into light blue eyes," drop the mask and I'll buy you ramen" Naruto sighed and smiled bitterly. "Hai, hai…" he murmured.

Then he proceeded to sit next to Gaara, who was on the edge next to Shukaku (Shu). Kyuubi was on the other side of Naruto. Shukaku faced the blonde, and he smiled toothily, showing off sharp pointy fangs.

Which made everyone except Kyuubi, Gaara and Naruto freak.

Naruto quietly served himself toast and milk. The room was once again silent, until Sakura sat back down and took a deep breath.

"Naruto" she started, " you should know better than to sleep late, it is the responsibility of a ninja to …." she droned on and on. Her lecture lost on the blonde.

Shukaku then grunted towards Naruto, Sakura still speaking. "How long?" the whiskered youth looked up at him with a tired almost lazy demenor. His calculating blue eyes betraying the bored façade.

"as long as you want, you can return whenever you feel like it" he said. "Naruto, I'm sorry to leave you with..._humans_" Kyuubi looked over at Sakura and Sasuke, "but can I…show Shukaku around?" the red head asked. Naruto smirked, something that made Sasuke shiver.

Just don't kill them" said Naruto, knowing what the demon was going to do.

"Gaara" Shukaku said in his raspy, almost animalistic growl type voice, "I'm going to 'borrow' our sand for a while…" he sent a mental image through his link with Gaara.

Said red head smirked evilly. "Fine." he said calmly.

The two demons grinned and ran out of the house faster than anyone could see.

Sakura seemed to finally notice nobody was listening to her, and decided to take it out on Naruto.

"BAKA! Weren't you listening?!" she yelled and went to punch the blond. Naruto shot a glace at Gaara that said, "Don't I'll handle it"

He blocked the punch, by grabbing her wrist and keeping her there, frozen.

"Haruno" Naruto glared, "for once in your pathetic miserable life. **Shut. The. Fuck. Up.**" he then pushed her back, so that she fell.

Naruto sat back down calmly.

Sakura was in shock.

Naruto, the boy who proclaimed his love for her, had just told her to shut up. NARUTO!!

Sasuke was also surprised. _'when did the dobe get so fast?' _he hadn't even seen Naruto's hand move!

Gaara stayed silent, lips twitching upwards. The other two sand sibs snickered. "ne, Naruto-kun. I didn't know you were that unshakeable" Temari commented.

Said blond looked at her and smiled like someone old and wise. His cerulean orbs holding many secrets.

" I'm a good actor, when I want to be" came his reply. Kankuro leaned over to Gaara and whispered something. Gaara's eyes widened and the puppeteer grinned.

"the meeting will begin in a couple minutes" Gaara said in monotone. Naruto nodded and shun shinned (?) to his room and back.

The blond gave them a look and they departed to the Kazekage's offices. Sakura was still numb and in shock while Sasuke was starting to get nervous.

'_if the dobe is this fast, who knows what he's capable of?' _

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

Gaara and Naruto were in the lead, glancing at each other occasionally. Speaking through body language.

'**are you sure you want to come?'** the red head asked.

'**yeah…let's give them HELL!' **the blond responded, his hands curled into what sort of looked like claws.

Gaara smirked and fully looked at the other container. "It's already hell, or at least the joy levels are about the same"

Naruto smirked as they stood in front of the heavy wooden doors of the counsel room.

The others looked at them, like they were crazy. '_that didn't make any sense' _both thought.

When the door opened, the counsel didn't know what hit them.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

"he said no killing, right?" Shukaku asked. Kyuubi nodded. Giving a wide grin, the raccoon demon added a different color, and took away couple kunai disappointed slightly.

"what's that?"

"something to preserve the color, let it be a reminder." the string was pulled taut.

"perfect"

"let's do one for pinkie! How about…green! To tone down her hideous hair!" the fox said, cackling maniacally. Shukaku looked at him and then raised a green paint can, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively.

'_Having a tanuki partner in crime sure pays off. Not only are they good at this, they always come prepared….' _Kyuubi thought to himself. Foxes were better at stealth and lying to get off the hook.

'_Together we make the perfect team! Bwahahahaha!!' _both demons thought as they headed towards Sakura's room.

"Being an "evil" demon was never so much fun!"

--owari--

* * *

**Ruby: congrats. you just did your first filler.**

I feel like I cheated you out of expectations...OH WELL I'll get over it!

**Ruby: POLL POLL POLL POLL POLL!!!!!!!!!!!**

**SHOULD THIS BECOME A YAOI?? IF SO WHICH PAIRS?**

can I vote?

**Ruby: you're writing the story stupid...:sweatdrop:**

How about...Gaanaru and KyuShu? ne, ne, ne? please vote/review!!

JAA!!


	6. Naruto and the Meeting! He's smart?

**Wow…six chapters already. Pretty good. Right Hakuo?**

Hakuo: zzzzz……

**Ruby: -sweat drop- uhh…right let's just push her off to the side -drop kicks author- she doesn't really add to the décor.**

**On with the fic!!!**

**Disclaimer: No. no and no. do you have to rub it in?**

Unite or divide ch.6

"Kazekage -sama." one of the counsel members said. They all stood and bowed. The other Kage that was to be present in the meeting nodded his head in recognition.

"We are sorry for keeping you. These are Konoha's representatives. Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Sasuke." Gaara said monotone, gesturing towards the ninjas.

They bowed their heads respectfully.

"Let us continue the meeting."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

Kyuubi and Shukaku had gotten bored and decided to stroll around, maybe scare up a kid or two (a/n: sweat drop: )

"Ne, Kyuubi."

"hn."

"what's up with that black haired prick?" Shukaku asked nestling his head in his intertwined hands, looking up.

Kyuubi, assuming he was talking about Sasuke, sighed. "I don't know exactly."

They both continued walking when, all of a sudden, they heard a scream!

….To which they continued walking. _'I've heard worse' _echoed in their heads.

"MOVE OUTTA THE WAY, FREAKS!"

A blur of black sped past them bumping shoulders intentionally.

The two demons stopped. Both their faces were covered by shadow.

"that bastard did NOT just call us--"

"--freaks" Kyuubi finished, cracking his knuckles.

"Time to have some fun." Shukaku leered.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:Counsel room-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

"It would help out economy."

" That may be, but Suna's villagers may think it unfair and revolt, or even go so far as to stop trade" Sasuke said coolly leaning forward smoothly.

So far, they were discussing the splitting of a large amount of land. It was in favor of the foreign Kage, though.

The kage was from Earth country, and he was also a very cunning negotiator.

"It would also be unfair to Konoha. All the villages are all still recovering from the war. Others could find even the miniscule tip in balance a sign for war." Gaara said, determined to not have Sasuke deal everything.

"yes but your city already thrives, while mine is still low. If you need us to help you in case of attack, we have to be at full power, so to speak." Hatsuko, the Earth Kage said. (made up name)

All of them were stumped.

Finally, Naruto spoke up, "If we let you have all of land, then you will let us have a higher amount of profit, from what the soil produces."

The Earth kage looked alarmed, while all of Team 7 looked at him, wanting to kill him for being so stupid.

'_Dobe. Shut up….' _Sasuke growled mentally.

While Sakura was checking her notes trying to see where she had

made the mistake to overlook the part that said Naruto could talk in the discussion.

"Care to elaborate, Naruto?" Gaara said, knowing that living all your life in the constant company of a crafty demon fox could teach you something.

Naruto opened his eyes and looked up at Hatsuko, then he said placating, "Oh no. I don't mean it like that. That would be unfair and a violation of code." he said, referring to what he other Kage was thinking. "If the Kazekage decideds to give you free reign of the land, then we get our fair share of profits"

The kage looked more relaxed, while some of the counsel members

stirred.

"If you don't mind, Kazekage-sama. We don't see why a Konoha ninja should speak for Suna." a woman asked.

Naruto flinched. He had bad experience with counsel's before.

Gaara slid his eyes over to the woman. She had been hoping to get Gaara to shut up the dumb blond, by making him feel as if he was being taken his power away.

Other counsel members murmured noises of agreement with the woman.

Gaara replied, icicles dripping from his mouth, " I trust Naruto-san with my life, he did save it after all"

After that, everyone was quiet. Naruto looked at Gaara and raised an eyebrow.

'**still remember?' **he said with that movement.

The redhead nodded discreetly, his cool composure not once cracking.

Hatsuko coughed, the silence uncomfortable. " If you would, Kazekage. Do you agree?" Gaara nodded again, more visible this time.

The Earth kage motioned for one of his Shinobi guards to give him a scroll. Opening it, he offered it to Gaara who shook his head and nodded towards Naruto. Hatsuko raised an eyebrow, but nonetheless gave it to the blond.

Sasuke and Sakura stared at Gaara, who only blinked slowly at them. Sakura was ready to pull out her hair. _'who knows if Naruto could do these sort of things?!'_

Gaara sweat dropped. _'they should have more faith in their teammate. Do they even know what Naruto did when I went to Konoha for Kage meetings?'_

In truth, those Kage meetings consisted of playing poker with Tsunade and somehow paperwork and negotiations would get done along the way. Naruto had learned from Tsunade, the rules of poker.

Apparently Kyuubi had applied those rule to arguing with other people and winning witty banter fights with the Uchiha.

Naruto scribbled, thought about it and scribbled some more. He looked determined and focused. Like a true professional actually.

Then he held it out to read.

"Suna gives the Earth free reign of aforementioned land, if , in turn, you split the profits with Konoha and Suna." Naruto read aloud, "Your own land, Earth country, will take 49 percent of the profits, while Suna will take 48 and Konoha will take 3 percent."

Sasuke looked like he was trying real hard to not kill something.

Hatsuko mulled over the information and nodded, finding no flaws.

Naruto contined to read, " 'there will be acceptance of these ninjas on the borders without attack. Only if said ninjas attack first without a valid reason. Yadda yadda yadda….hmm… this contract will only be in effect if and only if the three villages are at peace and allied together. One tip of balance of power, meaning two villages team up against the third, equals war and halt of all trade activities' do you agree?"

The foreign Kage nodded and signed. Gaara skimmed throught scroll and widened his eyes by a fraction. He signed as well and rolled up the scroll.

"it is settled then, thank you Uzumaki-san." Hatsuko said. Naruto waved it off. "please, call me Naruto. All this formal crap is so…awkward."

Everyone sweat dropped.

They all drank their lukewarm tea, relaxed that the meeting for the day was over. Then out of nowhere the foreign Hokage laughed out loud.

"I concede defeat. You are a tricky fox, Naruto." he said, finally figuring out the blond's plan. Aforementioned blond grinned.

Gaara also softened his features. He too, had figured out Uzumaki's trick.

After a few minutes of small talk, Naruto saw that the other kage was a kind hearted man, who liked to play Shogi and believed in equality.

"I also love ramen"

That got Naruto's attention, and the two hit it off perfectly (not like that) Sasuke and Sakura sweat dropped and tried to edge away from the conversation about which was better: Miso ramen or chicken ramen.

The same could be said for the counsel. The ones that were left excused themselves.

Gaara and the Earth Shinobi were already used to their leader's/friend's obsession with ramen. So they ignored it and continued to drink their tea calmly.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:somewhere in Suna-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

"hey bastard!"

The man turned around. He was a traveling ninja that stole when he was lazy. Today was a pretty typical lazy day. His eyes widened when he saw another man from earlier that day.

"y-yes?" he asked hoping to what ever God that the man didn't remember.

"Freak, huh?"

Apparently, God was not on his side today. Judging from the tan skin, the man in front of him was native from Suna. When the thief looked closer into his eyes he saw that the rings resembled that of a panda.

He giggled and said, "panda-man"

Shukaku twitched, a vein appearing on his fore head. His sand at ready as he began to warm up.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

Kyuubi winced as the Tanuki broke the man nose and slammed his face into the unforgiving ground.

"stupid idiot." the Fox said before snapping more pictures of the violent beating given to the thief.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-: At the dinner table-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

"Did you guys do anything interesting, today?" Temari asked. Kankuro was exchanging jokes with Naruto.

"we beat up some guy that made fun of us" Shukaku said, cutting his steak. Kyuubi took a bite of potatoe.

"Actually, Shu beat them up and I took pictures." the fox corrected. He handed some copies to Gaara, who smirked faintly.

Sakura and Sasuke excused themselves, the wierdness around the newcomers was getting to a certain level they couldn't stand.

As the living room closed, Naruto looked over at his tenant.

"what did you do in the morning?"

Kyuubi and Shukaku leered scarily.

Then they all heard:

_Click._

THUNK.

**Sploosh!**

And then a: "NARUTOOOOO!!" coming from Sakura and Sasuke's room. They all ran over to the door and saw Sasuke and Sakura pinned to the wall with kunai and covered in hot pink (Sasuke) and green (Sakura) paint.

"So **that's **what you did…" Kankuro said with a grin.

Temari had out her camera and took a couple twenty pictures.

The two demons slapped each other a high five.

"this will be a very _interesting _visit, right Naruto?" Gaara said, looking over a said blond.

He got a silent nod, the blond was currently busy laughing his ass off.

--owari--

* * *

For those who are confused:

_Click. (the string snapping)_

THUNK. (THE KUNAI HITTING THE WALL AND PINNING THEM, LEAVING THEM OPEN AND VULNURABLE FOR..)

**Sploosh! (…a bucket of paint.)and varnish**

**Ruby: for those of you who didn't want yaoi , were sorry but the majority of you voted YAOI**

Hakuo: meaning…?

**Ruby: the majority of you guys are PERVERTS!!**

Hakuo: but those of you who didn't want it, go to my profile, you'll see a new story called "His Promises" that is dedicated for you. 'cause I felt guilty.

* * *

**votes: **

**For-17 Against-3

* * *

**

Naruto: no, really! What's Gaanaru?

**Ruby: --sighs-- here. (hands M rated Gaanaru fanfic to Naruto)**

Naruto: --green-- O,O! Gaara uh.. Have you _seen _this?

Gaara: --nods-- **(evil grin)**

**Ruby: Curiosity scarred the fox. The end.**

**Review!!**


	7. Ramen and Awkward positions

**Ruby: gomen the internet was being mean!!!**

Hakuo: ...right...just read the story

**Disclaimer: NO.**

* * *

Ch. 7 To Unite or Divide

"Whoa."

"I know, he's great isn't he?" Tsunade beamed. She had read the copy of the treaty Suna sent her.

" I don't get it Sensei" Shizune said, frowning at the paper. Tsunade went on lecture mode; she cleared her throat.

"it states that Konoha has 3 percent, while Suna has 48 percent, if Earth country does something to piss us off, we can combine our share with Suna's giving us the advantage of 1 percent of the crops over Earth."

Shizune still looked confused.

The Sannin sighed. "Konoha is sort of the decider or the tie breaker to who has the greater power/influence over the crops"

The apprentice nodded in understanding. Then, Tsunade went on to rant about how Naruto this, Naruto that, and how great he is. (not that she'd ever tell him directly)

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:Back in Suna-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

"--achoo!" Naruto sneezed. He shook his head and looked around.

"heh. Gomen, someone must be talking about me" he said

grinning nervously.

The Earth Kage smiled and wrote something down "25 sneezes in a row. A record breaker"

Everyone sweat dropped.

Sakura cleared her throat, Sasuke had to fight the urge to slam his head on the desk.

"okay…well this meeting is concluded. Naruto can I aske you something?" Hatsuko asked. The blond nodded.

"What is up with their hair?" he said bluntly, pointing at team 7. Both twitched, noticeably.

"Erm…paint accident…yeah…"Naruto said solemnly, his lips twitching in restraint.

Gaara smirked, Sasuke glowered.

'_why do I have the feeling it wasn't an "accident"?' _Hatsuko thought.

Both demon containers gave each other knowing glances and fought the urge to smirk. The Earth king then nodded to his guards. "Naruto, I have some important personal business to discuss with you"

Said blond looked and nodded. Placed in front of him was a steaming bowl of…

"Cheese ramen?" he gasped looking at the bowl. Hatsuko nodded seriously. "I want to know if I should release this to the public"

"can I try it?" the blond asked excitedly. The Kage looked hesitant.

"be warned it has…noticeable side affects"

Kyuubi (who was inside of Naruto) heard this. He raised an eyebrow.

Sakura swore she just blinked for a second and the ramen was gone. "it's gooood!" he purred . He looked pointedly at the clock.

"well Kage-dono. We'll see you on Monday(weekends are off)" Gaara said rising and bowing respectfully.

They left after all the proper goodbyes were given.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:Gaara's room-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

"I'm bored." Shukaku said rolling on the bed. Kyuubi just looked form his place and snorted, "you're always in a rush Tanuki"

Shukaku looked from his place on the bed and growled exasperatedly.

"let's kill something"

Kyuubi's eyes flashed dark red momentarily. "Don't." he warned.

If they were to return to a bloodthirsty state, Naruto would be blamed for sure (everyone's too scared of Gaara)

Shukaku leered at him and jumped off. "100 Suna villagers, yum" his eyes had a crazy gleam to them. Kyuubi growled again. The other demon headed to the door.

The fox pounced.

"Damn it Kitsune! Let me go!" Shukaku howled struggling fruitlessly, pinned under the nine tails. The two rolled around knocking most things over in their struggle.

Kyuubi growled a "no". And reinforced his grip with chakra. "I need blood dammit!" the raccoon whined pathetically.

The fox understood. Demons thrived on the extreme sensations. No rush of adrenaline, they go insane….or more so.

And bloodthirsty.

"then drink mine." Kyuubi growled. Shukaku froze, "wha-what?"

"Drink. My. Blood. Moron." Kyuubi punctuated every one of his words. Shukaku's brain was dizzy, the urge to kill ebbing away.

Let's take a look, ne?

'_ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod…'_

If he was any less of a demon he would have jumped at the chance to try to get some of the most powerful Youkai's blood.

But he wasn't. So he didn't.

The crazy gleam was gone and he turned his head away in embarrassment from their positions. Kyuubi was straddling him and pinning his hands on either side of his head. Both were panting slightly from exertion. (**Ruby: lets take a moment to picture that -drool- ….and back to the story**)

"No. Now get OFF me, fox" he said curtly, his face getting warm.

Said fox looked confused, and just shrugged it away. He was about to get off their very suggesting positions. It wouldn't do for their reputations to be seen like this by a human. And just because the author is mean--

"Kazekage-sama, I--**OH. MY. GOD!**"

The two demons turned to the hyperventilating girl at the doorway. Temari , who was behind Sakura, asked, "What's wrong? --HOLY SHIT."

Both males turned red and jumped away from each other…only to trip and somehow fall on each other again. With Shukaku straddling Kyuubi this time.

"so kawaii!" Temari squealed and took a camera out of god-knows-where.

Kyuubi was sure that she snapped a few hundred pictures. He shook himself out of his stupor and dragged Shukaku up with

him.

Turning serious and cold, he made the two girls freeze and pay attention to him. Opening his mouth as if too say something, he paused and thought otherwise. Taking out something Temari vaguely recognized as a smoke bomb.

"LATER!" he shouted cheerily, and dropped the bomb on the floor.

Taking Shukaku by the hand and jumping out the window, they ran by so fast people only saw black and red blurs whiz by.

Finally, they stopped near Suna's border and dropped down panting for breath. Shukaku noticed his hand was still in Kyuubi's.

"you…uh…can let me go now" he said awkwardly.

The fox's eyes widened, briefly. He dropped the hand as if he was burned.

"**Nothing **happened."

"Agreed."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

Unbeknownst to them, their containers weren't fairing well either.

--owari--

* * *

**Ruby: we're back didya miss us?**

Hakuo: heh. Gomen, got caught up in school.

**Ruby: dreaded awful school**

Shukaku and Kyuubi: O.O!

Gaara: idiots

Naruto: h-hey! What happens to us?!

Hakuo: ummm…can't tell you, but here's a preview!

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

**Preview:**

"**AAHHHHHH!! FANGIRLS!!" Naruto shouted, clinging to ****Gaara tighter. Said sand-nin resisted looking at Naruto's uber-cute form on his arm and continued running.**

"**Come back Naru-chan!" the evil fan girls screeched. The blonde's eyes got unbelievably teary and some fainted from their nosebleeds.**

'_**Curse you ramen!' **_**Gaara thought as he teleported them away.**

**End preview.**

Hakuo: you can probably guess from there.

**Ruby: REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**


	8. Of Fangirls and Chibi Foxes

Hakuo: I'm back!! I've decided this story will be VERY random and full of funny shit! There might not be any plot, and the yaoi will most likely be fluff, and Shonen-ai (which I think is a lighter and teen rated yaoi) but the situations Naruto gets into are going to be…..weird

**Ruby: weird is the only word she can think of.**

Hakuo: yeah, whatever **(although it's true)**

**Ruby: on with the fic!**

**Disclaimer: NO.

* * *

**

**Ch: 8- Of Fangirls and Chibi Foxes

* * *

**

"And then there is my fan club, which--Naruto?"

The blond was currently doubled over, clutching his stomach in pain. The two had been walking through the streets of Suna, Gaara telling him about fan girl awareness (a safety precaution) when the pain had hit.

"ow" was all Naruto managed to say, before clenching his teeth.

Gaara thought it was just a stomachache from the new ramen he had tried. In truth, it was a stomachache, but Naruto felt it was ten times worse, and blinded by pain he stumbled right into an alley.

Kyuubi's chakra sensed the damage done and quickly started sending more chakra to the inflicted place to cure it before it got life-threatening.

"Naruto?!" Gaara was sure it wasn't any normal ache now, and he was panicking.

It was a funny thing what happened when Kyuubi's chakra tried to minimize the wound. It was in another part of Naruto's chakra system and when the two chakras hit, one cursed chakra and another infected chakra (the ramen), a large _poof! _sounded and the whole alley was filled with smoke (like a summoning).

Gaara thought, _'what the hell?'_ before going and waving the smoke away.

Naruto was no where in sight and finally when the smoke cleared , Gaara could see the whole alley.

He saw another person huddled in a corner, and with out thinking grabbed it by the collar and faced it towards him, ready to demand answers.

Azure blue eyes blinked up owlishly at him and golden hair shone in the sunlight. Gaara had to admit, Naruto did look pretty cute as a kid.

…..

'_wait. A KID?' _Gaara's eyes widened at the implications. There, being held by the Kazekage, was a chibi sized version of Naruto

Uzumaki.

"Holy shit." was all Gaara could say, he was about to say something more when…

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

The red head swore he blinked and then the chibi was gone in a blur of yellow and black. He swung his head around and managed to see the kid run around the corner.

"wait!" yelled Gaara, and started to chase after him.

'_I don't know what I did wrong! Where am I? This doesn't look like Konoha, and why is that freaky panda guy still chasing after me?'_ the little Naruto thought desperately as he dodged a cart carrying some sort of fruit.

He slid to a stop and dashed a different direction, if only to get away from the crazy panda-man.

His little feet carried him into unknown territory. _'Wait! EVERYwhere is unknown territory!' _he thought with a groan.

The villagers of Sunagakure where just minding their own business, when their Kazekage was seen chasing a little blond kid.

They ignored it, they've seen worse. Like when the Kazekage's sister had that on and off relationship with a chunnin from Konoha.

When that happened, Gaara had been seen chasing a green vested, black blur that kept saying "troublesome." over and over as he crossed the desert in record speed. (it also doubled as an excuse to visit Naruto, while he was in the vicinity)

Gaara, meanwhile, had used his sand to get an advantage. He was just about to close in on the blond, when he noticed where they where heading.

'_at this rate we'll be….at my fan club of **doom**!' _he thought, dreading . And sure enough in front of the two figures was the residential Gaara obsessed freaky girls' hangout.

Naruto thought, _'Sweet! A hiding place, perfect!' _and bolted inside. Gaara, reluctantly, went after him.

The fan girls, as usual, were plotting on how to get Gaara to go out with them. When he was obviously gay and interested in that Naruto kid, uhh---uninterested in any _Suna _girls. When something burst through their door and ran inside, they looked over, ready to give a swirly to anyone who _dare_ interrupt them, when lo and behold, their stood the guy of their dreams and current obsession.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!GAARA-SAMA!!"

And thus the war cry of the fan girls, as they stampeded over to their (amazingly far away) front door.

Gaara was franticly looking for a bundle of blond while trying to remember if genocide was still illegal.

'_There!' _and _'dammit , it still is' _came to mind.

"WAAAAAAAHHHHH, IRUKA-NIISAN!!!!!!" rang out through the throng of wild rabid fan girls. They all froze and looked at the little kid huddled in the middle of their stampede.

One thought, before a new wave of stampeding overcame them:

'_KAWAII!!'._

With the evil fan girls distracted, Gaara had enough time to transport himself to the middle, where Naruto was located and pick him up while putting up his sand shield and running to the nearest exit (fan-girl survival skills necessary in the smexiest of men, or so said in a national poll)

"PANDA-MAN! The evil girls are scary!" Naruto said, clinging tightly to his robes. If he had a choice between the awesome powers of the panda-ninja or the scary aura of the 'Gaara-turned-Naruto-chibi-fan girls' The panda always won.

And as Gaara jumped from rooftop to rooftop, the fan girls now had two reasons to run : 1) Gaara, the sex god (Hakuo: LOL, where do I come up with this?) and 2) what they assumed was a kawaii chibi Naruto.

The red head was heading to a place where he knew he was safe: where ever Temari was.

The wind mistress (I think that's the right name) had this thing about other girls manhandling her younger brothers. Only SHE could hurt them. Just like Gaara had this thing about Temari's boyfriends and Kankuro had the same thing for hurting anybody who touched his sister and little brother and his puppets…what?

The puppets were family too.

Or so he repeatedly told his siblings, who rolled their eyes and said "obsessed".

Back to the running:

"AAHHHHHH!! FANGIRLS!!" Naruto shouted, clinging to

Gaara tighter. Said sand-nin resisted looking at Naruto's uber-cute form on his arm and continued running.

"Come back Naru-chan!" the evil fan girls screeched. The blonde's eyes got unbelievably teary and some fainted from their nosebleeds.

'_Curse you ramen!' _Gaara thought as he teleported them away.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:Sabaku household** **-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

Temari was putting the ramen away. She was back from shopping, because Naruto had exhausted their minimal supply of it in no time. After the last bag was put away, her 'Gaara's-being-chased-by-fan girls' senses were tingling.

Coincidentally, at that same moment, Gaara came bursting through the door and shut it fast, claws being pushed back as he put his whole weight on the wooden surface. Panting heavily he gave her a pleading look.

Temari nodded and then spotted a trembling blond bundle of hair.

She ripped said thing off her brother and swiftly threw it out into the awaiting hordes of fan girls while shutting the door once more.

"you missed one" she said simply and turned around to see her brothers horrified expression.

Getting that feeling that she had done something very wrong, realization came to her.

"oh shit. That was Naruto wasn't it?"

A brief nod, followed by her quickly whipping out her giant fan out of seemingly nowhere and opening the door.

Naruto, meanwhile, was thinking of how to escape the jaws of the fandom that were everywhere.

Tears started leaking out despite his best efforts and he wished desperately for his Iruka-Niisan. He had bad experiences with mobs, usually around his birthday. He knew why, of course, Iruka had given him clues, and he had sort of figured it out. Something with the giant fox and sealing and other things like that.

The blond was about to cry desperately for his Niisan again when a great gust of wind threw the girls to his right strait into and over the wooden fence enclosing the mansion.

Collective sucked in breaths and horrified whispers of "Temari-**Neesan**" went around like wildfire. Naruto looked up and saw the blond kunoichi with her fan still in one hand heading towards him.

She picked him up and held him with her other arm, bringing him to her chest protectively. "He counts as my brother as well" she

said simply before heading back inside.

But not before turning around and leveling them all with another wind attack from her fan and a Sabaku Glare-of-revenge-not-yet-wrought©.

When she got inside she held up the crying boy by the scruff of his black jacket like a cat and took a good look at him. Naruto stopped crying and stared right back.

Temari peered. Naruto squinted.

Gaara was too dignified to sweat drop, but he had the sudden urge to do so.

After a couple more minutes of mirroring each others action they both said, "I like you"

Temari continued, "you're cute and look innocent enough"

Naruto explained, "You're pretty, and you don't squeal like a girly-girl"

Then the wind mistress whirled on Gaara, "Explain?" The Kazekage sighed, wearily.

--owari--

* * *

Hakuo: This is the beginning of the Chibi! Naruto Arc -kawaii-!!!

There was also a part for Temari lovers everywhere (she saves Gaara and Naruto from evil fan girls)

UP NEXT!: What happens when everyone else finds a chibi Naruto?

REVIEW! REVIEW!REVIEW! -please-


	9. The truth that hurt

**Edit 4/17/07: **Gomen, Silent-serpent, I uploaded the wrong version, the one without your challenge (sweat drop) sorry…

**Ruby: you're enjoying this aren't you?**

Hakuo: hell yeah! But….

**Ruby: But?**

Hakuo: I don't know what to do after the Chibi! Arc….. I think they go back to Konoha….some more Sasuke and Sakura bashing….and someone requested Kakashi bashing as well….

**Ruby: We'll do what everybody should do.**

Hakuo?

**Ruby: Worry about till later and read manga!!**

Hakuo: YOSH! I'm into DeathNote right now, and its awesome!

**Ruby: you really have nothing to do, do you?**

Hakuo: nope.

Naruto: ne, ne. Ruby-kun, what's Mpreg?

**Ruby: …..you've been reading around this website haven't you?**

Naruto: -nod nod-

Hakuo: I'll tell you when you're older

Naruto: -pout-

DISCLAIMER: NO I DON'T OWN NARUTO OR THE CHARACTERS…BUT I COULD HOPE RIGHT?

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Ch 9: unite or divide

* * *

"--and that's what happened." Gaara finished. Temari had set Naruto down and let him look at some magazines while she nodded dumbly at the story.

They had moved to Temari's bedroom for some privacy and Naruto was rifling through some magazines about the newest fans.

The blond really like them, they were nice to him.

"Whoa." he said surprised and he repeated that sentence to himself. THEY were NICE to HIM.

He smiled and hugged himself like he always did when he was really happy.

While he was rocking back and forth Temari asked Gaara, "Does he always do that?"

The Kazekage shrugged and Temari continued to note things about the chibi.

The unsuspecting blond shivered and saw Temari staring at him with intense scrutiny.

'_Why is she staring at me like that? I kind of like it... but it's kind of creepy... OK, a lot creepy... but I still like it... Weird…' _the blonde thought, glad someone was noticing him.

Naruto looked over at them, a thought popping in his head, "will you leave me?"

The Sabaku children looked over at him and Temari slowly thought out every word, "Why would you say that, Naruto-kun?"

"Because the villagers always said everyone would leave me to rot."

The tone that Naruto used was too blissfully naïve to say something like that and it creeped out the woman.

The uneasy silence was broken by someone shouting, "Temari-san, are you there?"

It was Sakura.

"I'll be right down!" Temari shouted after she regained her voice.

Gaara stood to follow her, and motioned towards Naruto. "Come." he said to the boy.

Naruto suddenly feared, "Will they hate me?"

Gaara looked thoughtful as he held Naruto's hand and said, "no…"_ 'not if I have something no say about it…'_

The blond, undeniably faithful to Gaara, nodded and followed him down, choosing to ignore the outstretched hand and climbing up the red head's clothes.

Resting comfortably on his torso he snuggled and smiled, Gaara stiffening. He was still a bit awkward when it came to physically hugging another.

Naruto tightened his hold on Gaara's neck for fear of being left alone.

He had felt that feeling too many times.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:Downstairs-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

Sakura and Sasuke had returned from the Kazekage's office after they had met up with their sensei.

Said perverted sensei had been sent after he deemed it worthy to report to the Hokage after a personal mission. He studied the house with a critical eye, and then shrugged, whipped out his porn novel and began to read.

An irate tick appeared on Temari's forehead after seeing that, while his students shamefully hid their heads. Snatching the porn from his hand the wind mistress cleared her throat and then said,

"If you'd excuse me Kakashi-san, but there are children here."

Kakashi eye-smiled and said, snatching his book back and pocketing it for safety measures, "oh? And where might this 'child' be?"

"Right here."

They all turned at the cold icy voice in the stairway. There, snuggling in Gaara's arms was…

"Naruto?!" Sakura screeched.

The blond stopped smiling and looked crestfallen. Tears welled up in his eyes as he desperately tried to wipe them away. Temari shot Sakura a dirty look and said to Gaara, " there's some instant ramen in the cupboards…."

It had the desired affect as Naruto started chanting under his breath, "Ramen! Ramen! Ramen!"

All beside Gaara sweat dropped at this sudden change in attitude.

Gaara, in all seriousness turned the right to the kitchen and went to make Naruto some ramen. But not before setting him down in front of team 7, much to Naruto's dismay.

"Panda-man" Naruto whined desperately, their stares making him uncomfortable.

Temari cleared her throat and said, "Naruto, this is Kakashi, Sakura and emo-boy Sasuke."

Naruto looked at them in turn, and decided to be his old self by putting his mask on. (he still had it at that age)

Pointing to each in turn he repeated their names, "Scarecrow, big forehead girl and chicken-butt head!"

Sasuke's eyes twitched dangerously, Kakashi's eye glinted evilly and Sakura turned an alarming red. Temari stifled her laughter and she swore she heard a snicker from the kitchen. The silence loomed heavily over everyone as they (team 7) thought of the best way to punish Naruto.

Sakura started, "WHAT THE HELL, BAKA! FIRST YOU LOOK LIKE A FRICKING **CHILD **THEN YOU START TO INSULT US! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? ARE YOU TRYING TO BE SOME KIND OF **MONSTER**?!" (stupid stupid Sakura)

Kakashi went next, but instead of insulting he drew chakra to his hands and then pinched Naruto's cheeks, "respect your elders" he said happily, but with an underlying threat.

Sasuke went behind them and gave him a chakra-powered noogie.

"Chicken-butt head?" he said venomously.

All three where surrounding Naruto in a circle, and it brought back unpleasant memories for said blond. He panicked and his danger alarm went off in his head, therefore also in Kyuubi's head.

Which is why Kyuubi came bursting through the door, ready for a fight. (don't question my logic)

"Kit?" he asked panicking, and then spotting blond. Surrounded by ninjas. In a very suggesting manner. (cough mob cough)

He healed too many of Naruto's wounds from mobs to justify his hate of swarming humans.

Shukaku entered the Sabaku household and was treated to the sight of Kyuubi picking up a chibi Naruto, while trying to incapacitate three people at once.

The sand demon asked, "What's going on?"

Naruto clung to Kyuubi and wailed, "Panda-man!!!"

Gaara was instantly there with sand pointed at all the vital points of Sasuke, Sakura and Kakashi.

"Ramen is ready" he said calmly. But Naruto wasn't listening he was looking up at Kyuubi with interest.

"hey! I know you!" the vulpine boy said. Kyuubi grinned down toothily (FANGS!) and said, " I bet you do."

"let me guess….stomach right?"

"yeah."

"but you look so…not deadly," Naruto said lamely.

Shukaku sniggered, he knew what they where talking about.

Kyuubi shot him a reproachful look and said to the rest of the Konoha ninjas, "ANY one harms him and there will be **hell **to pay."

Sasuke glowered, Sakura trembled and Kakashi nodded absentmindedly and whipped out his book.

In a flash, Kyuubi burned the book and some of the scarecrows hairs with it.

"Child present. Idiot ningen."

With a downcast sensei the group headed towards the kitchen.

Some a little farther apart than others.

So Temari, since Gaara wouldn't speak much again, explained the story to Kyuubi and Shukaku while the others listened in.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:A little while later-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

Sasuke, deciding that this child Naruto could be useful for answering some questions about the enigma that is the older

Naruto, started up a question that had been bothering him. (Evil sadistic BASTARD)

"Naruto, why do you love ramen so much?"

The blond looked thoughtful for a moment then smiled, his eyes unfocused as he was remembering something.

"It was the first thing an adult gave me without trying to hurt me."

A pregnant silence fell.

Kyuubi sighed, _'the old man at the ramen stand…'_

It was Sakura's turn. "Naruto, when you're older and already a ninja, would you play 'ninja' with a little kid ?"

"of course I would!"

"why?"

"Because…the kids my age never played ninja with me, they all make fun of me and keep the ball away from me…"Naruto said sadly. Kyuubi and Shukaku shared a look of remorse, caught themselves and looked away blushing heavily.

'_Don't look. Don't look. Don't look. Aaww he's blushing, it's so kawaii!!' _Shukaku thought perversely. Kyuubi was thinking along the same lines. Gaara rolled his eyes and thought, _'why don't they just get a room or something? It's making me sick.' _

After a couple more heartwarming questions and answers, they dispersed, Gaara had to go to Kage duties, reluctant to leave the chibi alone.

The rest just lazed about, while Kyuubi and Shukaku watched with eagle eyes what Team 7 was doing with Naruto.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:Hours later-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

Gaara came into the house, a moment later he was glomped on by a chibi.

"Waahh!! Panda-man! The scarecrows being mean!" Naruto cried, snuggling into a pale neck. The red head smirked evilly, thinking about the best excuse to make for the deaths of certain Konoha ninjas.

When he went back in to the living room Naruto began to accuse people.

"Big forehead only pays attention to chicken-butt head, she doesn't even play with me! Chicken-butt head just glares at me and hates me, instead goes training. And the scarecrow just listens to Chicken-butt, and doesn't play with me or forehead girl!!" Naruto said, talking only about playing and ignoring.

But the rest of the ninjas didn't think that.

'_is that what really happens?' _Kakashi thought, thinking about the older Naruto making similar complaints. He felt a twinge of regret, but pushed it away not wanting to feel guilty.

Gaara nudged the blond gently and said, "The effects of the ramen should be wearing off in a couple hours, you'll return to…semi-normal state."

Naruto nodded, he had heard of when he was taller from Temari and the freaky paint guy. Hoping to amend some trust Kakashi offered, "do you want to play now, Naruto?"

The blond looked at him suspiciously with narrowed blue eyes, "no. I'm going to spend the night with Panda-man"

The scarecrow sighed at the eyes.

The sad, longing blue eyes that read that the heart yearned to say yes, but the mind sure it couldn't take any more rejection.

The eyes that have been betrayed once too many.

-owari-

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-yawn- too late for this now……..please review!!!

Hakuo: Kakashi, you've been getting on peoples nerves…this…annoyance will have to be taken care of… Kukuku…Ruby?

**Ruby: I'm on it!!**

Kakashi:….-gulp- what's up with that bonfire? And the chainsaw?!

And the --?!

Hakuo: -reporters voice- due to certain…circumstances, Kakashi-san will no longer be a part of this Authors note. We'd like you to enjoy anyway (Princess Lena aka Lady Kittuna, in a few chapters will be for you, why? Because in order for a satisfactory bashing for Kakashi, in my opinion, no one is better suited for the job than,: Jiraiya, Tsunade or Gai and Iruka I'll try to make it up to you by putting more Naruto chibi-ness until we get back to Konoha!)

Silent-serpent: Your challenge is done!…got another one?

REVIEW! REVIEW!


	10. Of Alchemy and Realizations

**Ruby: We're back!!**

Me: I could say sorry all day but you've been waiting for this too long

Disclaimer: no I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or Naruto (you'll see what I'm talking about)

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Unite or Divide Ch. 10 (woohoo! double digits)

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The sky rumbled along with a steady shower of rain.

Lighting flashed, giving a new light on any and everything that testified to the scene that the author decided right then and there would be crucial to her sucky fanfic.

But I'm missing the point.

As the trees lashed and tossed with the unforgiving wind, the reader's attention is caught on a lovely home, in the middle of what seems to be the countryside. But appearances are deceiving.

Inside the house is not a warm happy family. But two orphan boys, whose father is yet to be heard from and whose mother has recently died.

They are desperate to have her back, and instead of praying daily to a God that the older sibling is skeptic of, they turn to something a bit more...flashy.

Alchemy.

"Ready Al?"

"Yes brother"

"Let's bring mom back." The older one said, and placed his small hands on the intricate circle that he drew moments ago. His hair is like the sun and his eyes hold wisdom that no kid should have. His younger brother, albeit reluctant, placed his hands on the circle as well.

A blinding flash of light...blinded the two momentarily. The older one looked up, exited that his mom was going to be revived. Suddenly the pure white and blue light gave way, and turned into desolate and ominous purples and blacks.

"BROTHER!!!"

The blond turned and started to sprint to his younger sibling as tentacles whipped out and took hold of his small body. Outstretching his arm to pull back the ensnared boy, despite his own lack of leg he currently sported.

And then, he disappeared.

The blond boy fell in despair. First his mother, now his only other family has let him alone.

All alone.

Abruptly, another light illuminated the dank study, this one a fierce red. The blond shielded his eyes, and opened them only when the light faded.

"Al? Al, is that you?!!"

The smoke dissipated and a tall figure stood in the middle of the alchemic circle. He swiveled his head to the incapacitated boy yelling for someone called 'Al'.

The looming figure chuckled darkly, "Foolish little boy, I am not this Al you seek. Now if you'll excuse me, I have come back from the dead for one reason and one reason only. To let my brother to revive the clan!!! Muahahahahah!!"

And with that he Goukakyuu-d the wall and stepped out into the rain, black hair plastered to his face, obscuring his red, wheeled eyes.

Ever since then, Edward Elric, has hated fire for that reason. (How dare he call him foolish!!?) But this story is not about him, it's about the long haired stranger with the wrinkles under his eyes.

Oh yes, Itachi Uchiha has come to town.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:In Suna-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

The light shone brightly, ignorant of a loss for a certain flaxen alchemist. Another blond lay in bed, his spiky hair, splayed out on his tan face, framing his whiskered cheeks. The TEEN was currently napping in a silky crimson bed, legs wrapped around the waist of his bed companion holding him like a fluffy PANDA plushy.

His companion had woken up not to long ago, not being a big fan of sleep. His face was red, rivaling that of his hair, heavy lined eyes darted towards the blond that held him in a very intimate position.

To his surprise he liked being held like this by him.

So he didn't say anything. Next to these two teens, were another two, one who looked like a fox man and another who looked like a brown version of the red head first mentioned. These two were in the exact same position. The fox man grasped the other tightly, not letting go.

Everything was quiet, and the red head was trying to not blush any redder.

He was slowly succeeding until the blond woke up and mumbled something, his azure eyes gazed at Gaara sleepily. Naruto then smiled and kissed Gaara on the cheek and went to sleep on top of said sand nin.

Gaara was still, deathly so. His mind in between _'WTF?!'_ and _'mmmmm...'_

The red head only remembered kissing from when the Nara told his sister he loved her and if he survived her younger brother he would make it up to her.

_'love...' _

He rolled around that idea for a while and decided to give back. Leaning over he went to kiss Naruto in the cheek, just as the blond was turning around to ask Kyuubi were they where. When lips made contact with lips both boys widened their eyes.

But they didn't pull away.

Azure looked at Gaara in confusion, then he remembered _his _earlier actions and blushed heavily. Gaara, deciding right then and there, decided he like that red on his kitsune's cheek.

_'MY kitsune??!! ...Love?! ... Uzumaki?...!'_

Shock made Gaara act instinctively, as he rolled over and pinned Naruto down, straddling his hips and pinning both his arms to the side. His whole frame shaking lightly, in fear or excitement.

"Why?" Naruto asked a bit breathless after the kiss.

Shaking his head, Gaara stayed silent and just contented himself to stare into the depthless blue below him. Words failed him, and Naruto was about to ask 'why' again, when the red head covered his lips with his own. Pained teal closed in frustration at his own actions. Why was he risking what only close bond he had, merely by acting on lust?

He was disgusted with himself.

His features contorted into said feeling and Naruto mistook that for repulsion at himself. Tears finding their way into his eyes but not falling, he struggled.

"Get off me, jerk!!" his face was red in shame, never had he thought that Gaara would be so revolted towards him.

Over coming his self loathing quickly, Gaara made a firmer grip on him to keep Naruto there. Naruto, wanting to be there but at the same time far away, forgot that he could easily overpower the Kazekage.

It went unnoticed to the two that Kyuubi and Shukaku had left the room silently.

They now stood guard on the other side of the door, recognizing a lover's quarrel. With sound barriers and serious expressions they armed themselves and took to glaring at passing Sakura and Sasuke, while merely shaking their heads at Temari and Kankuro.

The puppet user was confused, while the wind mistress understood. She had seen the looks that Gaara had reserved especially for Uzumaki, how could that mutual understanding of pain not find comfort in themselves?

It was up to them now, to see if they could overcome the walls put up to not let love pass through.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:Gaara's bedroom-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

"Why? Why? Gaara, let me go!"

"no." his voice was deep and it breathed warm air onto Naruto's neck, making said boy shiver. Gaara had rolled over again and had Naruto flush against him. Gaara's back was to the silk covers and Naruto's back rested on Gaara's naked chest. Both boys had taken their shirts off sometime during the night, heat too unbearable with Suna's climate in the early mornings.

Gaara had both Naruto's arms locked by his own, and his feet wrapped around the blonde's to stifle movement. Moments passed and neither boy said anything. Finally, the red head asked, "What is love?"

Startled Naruto wanted to look at him to give him his best 'are you crazy?' look. But in the end he complied.

"I guess...it's an intense feeling of compassion and affection, there's also a passionate attraction and desire...maybe, something that's unconditional, and you have to give and take sometimes too." Naruto recited, remembering the times he wished he was loved.

"What if I loved...you?" Gaara paused, nervous as to how he would react.

Naruto choked on his breath. "Why would you love me?" he tried his best to not let his voice crack, the sun now high in the morning sky, illuminating the Kazekage's room.

"You understand...only you..." Gaara clutched at the blond tight, his arms wrapped around the slim hips, everything coming together for him. And yet only words could make it all fall apart.

Blue eyes widened in realization, and he asked, "So you're not disgusted ?"

Startled Gaara shook his head wildly and lightly nipped him on the shoulder, reveling in his scent, ramen and the scent of something sweet, like strawberries...

Feeling his companions negative, Naruto leaned back and expose to Gaara his neck, to show submissiveness and agreement.

"I guess...I love you too." _That explains these weird feelings _" The damn pigeon was right!" Naruto swore, making the red head chuckle. He kept his arms tight around the blond, basking in the feeling at the pit of his stomach. A warm tugging emotion, that fluttered with every movement from Naruto. Even the midday desert heat had never felt this scorching, he thought to himself.

"What does this make us?" Naruto asked, slightly smelling Gaara's scent, like sand and cinnamon... catching himself doing something really embarrassing he reddened to a deep scarlet.

Gaara smiled, Naruto could feel it at the back of his nape, and flipped them over again, lightly resting the blonde's head on a pillow, so that only one blue eye trailed his movements, the front of his body on the soft mattress. Gaara leaned down, his arms on either side of Naruto's head to support his weight, and bit and the juncture of Naruto's neck. A VERY sensitive area it seemed as Naruto mewled lightly. Tasting blood, Gaara stopped biting and licked the wound slowly, letting Kyuubi's powers heal the blond. Even so the mark stayed a blushing red, as if that spot was suppose to be bitten, despite how good healing the person had.

Smiling so that his canines showed a bit, he let the blond under him turn around to fully view him. Only one word was uttered to answer Naruto's question.

"Mates."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:Some other place-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

The lighting that once took place years ago was gone, the beautiful home burned down along with memories. In the scorched ashes stood three people.

One of them was a tall suit of armor that stood in an alchemic circle that seemed vaguely familiar. The other one was finishing up some Latin on the circle, his blond hair braided like usual and his trademark red jacket hung on the shoulders of the third person. His hair the weirdest shade of green and his eyes clashing purple, along with his skin tight suit made up of a skort and something like a sports bra.

"Edo, you done yet?" the green one asked. Ed just nodded and stepped back, sweat slid along his brow as what he was about to do hit him like a ton of freaking bricks. The green haired one, known as Envy, wrapped his arms around the short alchemist licking the sweat off.

"You'll do fine Koibito..." he assured him as Ed blushed under him. Getting his confidence back he smiled warmly at his brother and clapped.

Placing his hands on the circle light once more splayed all around them. Before Ed loomed the gate, and he was prepared, offering the soul of the immortal known as Dante for his brother's body and soul.

The trade was accepted and Ed came back to consciousness in his own body, which was supported by Envy.

"D-did it work?" Envy just looked at the gate in response, as Ed followed his gaze. It opened and two figures

walked out. One a young naked boy with brown hair, being held by a pale sallow man. His ebony black hair and purple eye shadowed eyes made Envy scream out.

**"IT'S MICHEAL JACKSON!!!"**

"NO! Fool! I am Orochimaru; bow down to me, BOW DOWN DAMMIT!!" Whispering to the sin Ed said, "Issues..." The snake Sannin then proceeded to drop the boy in his arms, (AL! YOU JERK!!) and bite his thumb.

Summoning his pet snake, he climbed on top of Manta (I think that's the name, either that or Orochi) and proceeded to rant everyone's ear off with his fruity, diabolical and really perverted plans.

"Instead of taking Sasuke-kun's body, I will do what I should have done in the first place! Take Naruto-kun's body instead! Then with the Kyuubi's power under my command, I will make Tsunade regret ever dumping me for that fool Jiraiya!!!! Kukukukukuk!! And then I will live forever in my new body!!!!"

And he sped off towards Konoha.

Standing up and shaking his fists in Orochimaru's general direction, Envy shrieked "WHAT THE **FUCK **IS UP WITH EVERYONE LIVING FOREVER?! _I _LIVE FOREVER TOO Y'KNOW!! IT'S NOT ALL IT'S CRACKED UP TO BE!!!!"

Ed looked at him, "Are you done?"

"Gimme a sec"

"Yeah I'm done."

* * *

Woo!! total supporter of EnvyxEd!!! this chapter was kind of not totally focused on GaaNaru, but I tried to make so its not too angsty, cause this is a light fic, but I just couldn't avoid the issue. Both of them aren't very experienced in that section and difficulties arise. I also didn't want to make too smutty, so it's mostly hugging and a kiss for some readers who aren't ready for that (wink) ANYways its a shounen-ai fic so nyah!!

I also didn't want to make it seem like this:

"I love you!"

"OMG! I love you too!! "

-waves crashing them running to each other in slow-mo in a sandy (haha) beach-

Even though to me it came out like that T.T...

Please review!!

**Ruby: even though you got cheated and exposed to her lame attempt at starting a plot line...**


	11. Sasuke kidnappings and Blackmail photos

ME: WOOHOO double chapters in a day!!! please reveiw when you're done!!

**Ruby: You're so happy, it's disgusting.**

Me: oh yah, I'm on Summer break!!! for three months -woot

**Ruby: Not to mention all the making fun of Sasugay in the chappie...**

Me: that too!! please enjoy!!

* * *

Sasuke Uchiha was wandering the border of Suna's majestic city, minding his own business on this fine sunny day. Well, not exactly his own business.

_'Where the hell is the dobe? He's spending way too much time with Sabaku to be healthy. My little fox might get killed...'_

Yes it could be said that Sasuke was an egoistical, stupid, dumbass pervert. it could also be said that the Uchiha had a _tiny _crush on a certain Naruto Uzumaki. He just had a hard time showing his emotions.

_'I'll be _damned_ if that Gaara screws him before I do!! They weren't even there for breakfast! And those stupid bodyguard wannabe's wouldn't let me through!'_

The author would like to take a gun to his head, but she has her hands busy on typing this story at the moment, so lets shut him up for a moment, shall we?

"Bastard, better not touch what is rightfully mine I should--ITACHI!! "

Indeed the elder Uchiha had shown up on the wall that Sasuke was being emo on. The nerve of some people. (Sarcasm)

"Foolish little brother, time to--"

"ITACHI WHAT THE FUCK! YOU'RE _SUPPOSE _TO BE DEAD!"

"If you'd only let me--"

"YOU'D BETTER NOT PLAN TO SELL ME TO OROCHIMARU AGAIN!"

And with that revealed a hidden dark secret that both Uchihas... hid. True to Sasuke's word, Itachi had sold his little brother to Orochimaru when Sasuke was younger. In return Itachi would get a stash of porn Orochimaru had lying around.

Hey, prodigies had to have some way of staying sane. Look at Kakashi and Jiraiya and Sarutobi. So _there! _

But that plan failed and Itachi's parents found out. They were about to punish Itachi after retrieving the forever scarred little emo when they burned his porn.

**No one **messes with a prodigies porn.

And that's how the great and almighty Uchiha clan was wiped out.

But I'm getting off topic here. Back to Itachi.

"Forget this shit." Itachi mumbled and took out a sickly smelling rag. Moving with his awesome ninja speed, he placed over Sasuke's mouth and nose. Five...four...three...two..aaaannnnddd he's OUT folks!!

Itachi bowed to the reviewers who suddenly appeared out of nowhere, congradulating him for finally shutting up emo-boy-prick Sasuke. "It was my pleasure, really" He said humbly (and truthfully) as Itachi fangirls swooned.

And with that great performance, he hefted Sasuke like a sack of Bastard brand potatoes, took out a smoke bomb and waved goodbye.

As the smoke cleared, leaving no trace of the hot as hell Uchiha, near the edge of reviewers swarming to find out where Itachi went, was Sakura.

"Sasuke-kun? Sasuke-kun?" she repeated like a mantra, searching like a lost puppy looking for its owner.

"Cough"_whore_"Cough" Came from the crowd.

The kunoichi swirled around in a rage, "Who said that?!" All the reviewers payed her no heed. As Sakura looked throught the bustling crowd of blurred movement, she spotted a still figure looking strait at her.

Red hair covered a side of her face, a low short ponytail was visible over a shoulder. Ruby red eyes taunted her, making her freeze up as they showed unbridled hate. Sakura was about to faint when someone else came up to the girl with red hair. (the crowd was now dispersing so she was pretty visible)

The other girl had dark hair in a similar ponytail, with deep dark eyes. She took out a giant paper fan and whacked Red upside the head. Sakura was a bit too far away but she heard something like "What are you DOING, Ruby-no-baka?!" and "out of the fanfic!!"

Red waved her fan off and smiled eerily at Sakura, and they both dissapeared like some mysterious force, waving all the while at Sakura. But it wasn't an "I'll see you later" wave, it was more like an "I'll _kill _you later, bitch" gesture.

For the rest of the day, Sakura was docked a couple hundred I.Q. points due to fear.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-: Back to the Sabaku Household-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

"Ahem."

_Crash!! _

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"They're getting worried down there, y'know"

"Kyuubi? Shukaku?" Naruto calmed down, then looked over at the floor were Gaara was. In his surprise, Narutohad somehow thrown Gaara onto the floor. "Gaara!!"

Frantic and hyperventilating Naruto ran over and sat Gaara upright, hugging him fiercely. Shukaku sniggered,while Kyuubi just smirked.

"If you're done hugging like there's no tommorrow, can we go now? Playing bodyguard to your room can be entertaining for only a certain amount of time." Kyuubi said, smirk still in place at the position they found their containers in.

Gaara had a comeback all prepared for that. Whipping out a couple of photos he shoved them in the demons faces. "And like you weren't as well?" he replied, a smile tugging at his lips. Naruto cracked up, and started to go into fits of unadulterated laughter, making his ribs hurt.

"Where -haha- did you -heheh- GET those, Gaara?!"

The red head simply answered "Temari"

Shukaku was wide-eyed and gaping, while Kyuubi was blushing so hard his face matched his hair. On the glossycover of the picture was a panting Shukaku straddling Kyuubi, in this very same room.

Right next to where Uzumaki was rolling in mirth.

Gaara stared at Shukaku.

Kyuubi locked eyes with Naruto.

All in some freaky unison they said, "**We never talk about this.**" And went down to dinner.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-: Dinner-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:**

As the clinking of dishware and plates floated in the air, everyone was slightly calmer. No one could figure out why. Either that or no one wanted to in the first place.

Kankuro placed himself as far away as he could get from his sister, she was practically radiating 'Sisterly love and adoration' and it creeped him out. Temari was stealing knowing glances at both Naruto and Gaara. Sometimes even at Kyuubi and Shukaku.

Aforemention males were sneaking glances at their chosen lovers. Or at least Naruto and Gaara were, Shukaku and Kyuubi were still in that cute fluffy river called Denial. Or was it The Nile?

Naruto's hand kept drifting to the red mark on his neck under his shirt. Kyuubi had explained to him that what Gaara did to his neck was the demon equivalent to proposing. The way to say yes is to mark the other in the same spot. Shukaku had informed Gaara earlier. Just some random information that created small talk.

Gaara's skin was still flawlessly pale.

Naruto decided he was going to change that as soon as possible, very soon. He had come up with his decision when he hugged Gaara earlier. The feeling that tugged at his heartstrings in a dizzying sensation made him realize what he had been missing. Sure, he had said he _liked _Sakura when he was younger, but he never said love. It just seemed like the wrong feeling when put with the kunoichi.

But when he reflected on it, putting 'love' and 'Gaara' in the same thought, made Naruto want to smile.

For _real_.

As Naruto contemplated these things more, Gaara watched the interesting faces his lover was making. Secretly he was waiting for Naruto to be more than his lover, more along the lines of 'mate'. And demons mate for life.

Sakura was mumbling incoherent words like "...red..." and "...waving...".

No one paid her much attention.

Finally the silence was broken by Kankuro saying:

"Where is the Uchiha?"

No one spoke, contemplating. It wasn't "Where could he be?" but more like "Why should we care?"

Just then Kakashi, who had been brought back into the fic came through the front door holding a limp and drooling Uchiha. Gaara swore under his breath.

No one made a move to help him and Kakashi just set him in a chair. The chicken's ass haired boy muttered things like "revive the clan" and "copulation" also a couple "Itachi-sensei is wise"

Kyuubi and Shukaku looked at each other in question. Itachi-sensei?

Finally Temari noticed something.

"Hey, his bloodline is still active!"

And true to her word, the Sharingan was spinning in its black and red glory. The question was, "What did it need to memorize and imitate?"

One can only wonder...

* * *

**Ruby: WHAT?! WHAT DID HE NEED TO COPY??**

Me: you'll have to review and find out -smug- I've got it all planned out, you can too if you only pay attention to Itachi's short but important dialouge ( This chappie and last chappie as well) and all the clues planned out. Will Naruto mark Gaara? Will he be able to with Sasuke there?

And what really happened to Sasuke when Itachi kidnapped him? (Silent-serpent, thanks for the challenge, it gave birth to this ridiculusly funny idea with Itachi!!)

And where did Oro-chan go? Why am I asking you all these questions?!

**Ruby: you're insane?**

Me: and that reminds me. Why the _flying _FUCK did you decide to show up in the fic???!!

**Ruby: Ehehehe...holy shit RUNNNNNNN -goes off running for all she's worth-**

Me: if you're wondering YES those two mysterious people in the fic during the reviewer swarm were us. ANYways... Have a happy Father's Day tommorrow (or today) please review while I kill Ruby -Smile-

Review REVIEW!! GAARA COMMANDS YOU!!!


	12. Of Favors and Itachi sensei

Ch. 12

Naruto sneaked around, hearing the floorboards creak slightly. He cursed whoever made Gaara's house, and then prayed that Temari or Gaara was in the kitchen as he headed there.

"Naru-kiiinsss!"

The voice. Oh god the VOICE!! It was horrible! Like dirt under your skin that you can't get rid of, but you want to so much that you're willing to peel the epidermis away. There was nothing worse than that voice! NAruto started to curse Kami for having done this to him:

Why, OH GOD WHY must he attract people??! Why didn't that happen when he was younger and more despereate for attention!!

But his internal tirade was ignore by the VOICE and Kami, who was giving Naruto the cold shoulder and had decided to focus on his -ahem- _important _business with his buddy Shinigami.

-

"Any 7's?"

"Go fish." Shinigami crowed victoriously, Arashi cheering for him on the sidelines.

"Oh KAMI! I suck at this game!"

"Talking to yourself won't work Kami-sama" Arashi deadpanned as the Ruler of all beings had a tantrum and threw all the cards into the Shinigami's seemingly endless stomach. He then burned and broke the table they were playing with in half, the Death God just sat there drinking his green tea until his friend calmed down. Arashi eating green tea flavored pocky. (he kept burning himself with the real thing)

Kami sighed and settled down, and looked outside the window to a beautiful view of Mt. Everest.

"So...BlackJack?"

"Sure why not?" Kami replied calmly and joyfully, a table and cards appearing from nowhere it seemed.

-

"Y-yes Sasuke?" _'don't show feardon't show feardon't show feardon't show fear_'

He could feel the hot breath at his neck. Hands rubbing his shoulders in a way that would feel good if it were anyone else. With homiocidal tendencies. And red hair.

NO. He was not perving on Gaara.

Much.

"Why won't you have sexual intercourse with me?" he purred into the blonde's ear. Which made Naruto's temperature take a dive off the deep end. Kyuubi was rattling his cage yelling to "run the fuck outta there!" and Naruto was inclined to agree. He didn't care that it was generally running away, as long as he kept his virginity. At least until Gaara-

****

"Stop daydreaming and run, baka!"

"uh-uhm...IS THAT SAKURA IN A BIKINI RUNNING TOWARDS YOU?!"he yelled pointing behind him. (author claws eyes out from mental image) Sasuke stopped and screamed like a girl, backpedaling back into the wall and covering his sensitive eyes with his hands, letting Naruto run to where, thankfully, Temari was in the kitchen.

"Naru-chan. I could have sworn I heard Sakura scream..." She mused, taking a bite out of her sandwich. Naruto shivered and hoped the ringing in his ears would stop, "actually, that was Sasuke-"

CHOKE. Cough, cough...

"That was Uchiha?! Daaammn..." she muttered, done with choking on her ham and cheese.

Damn was right. Sasuke's scream made it to the other side of the building, where Gaara sat signing paperwork ("Was that Haruno?") to the rest of Sunagakure ("Guess Kazekage-sama lost his patience with the Leaf kunoichi..."). And even broke the glass of Kankuro's ship in a bottle that he had just put a cork in. ("DAMN IT! **[censored[censored ya stupid[censored-) **

-

The damned Uchiha was at it again.

It had been going on these past couple of days. Naruto did not know why. He didn't WANT to fanthom what went on inside that chicken's ass head that Sasuke dared to call a brain...

"Naru-pyooonn! Kyaaa So Kawaii!!"

Aw SHIT.

-

Sasuke knew.

Sasuke knew what every active man knew out there.

Sasuke knew...how to make babies!!

And the _uke_ to bend to his will, like Itachi showed him?

Uzumaki Naruto.

Because he was the perfect _uke_, just like Itachi said on the slideshow. He had killed his brother, once, and now all he had to do is revive the clan like his dead bro instructed. _Revive. _As in "making babies".

After he vomited his guts out tied to that chair while watching someone give birth, Sensei (Itachi) had let him see the pleasurable side of sex. By watching porn.

Lots and lots of porn.

At first he had been blinded and he couldn't bare to see a woman and man do _those _things to each other.

--

"-moan- Oh Kami-sama! Harder!"

Sasuke sat, eyes wide and nose bleeding, and then when the foreplay ended he began struggling even more, the chakra enforced ropes only becoming stronger and tighter against him. Itachi sighed and with a click of a button paused the movie and turned on the lights in the abandoned warehouse that he had chosen to use for his purposes.

"Little brother, if you do not stop I will be forced to take drastic measures."

Sasuke only struggled and glared, panting harshly, "Fuck. You." and resumed his struggling. Itachi almost gave in to the compelling urge to bash his head against something hard. and pointy.

--

And then, Sasuke had been exposed to the world of fangirling (?). Tons and tons of Naruto douijinshi, merchandise and action figures were shown to him. He didn't know the dobe was that popular. In fact they should have named that fan-made doujinshi "Sasuke" instead of "Naruto"!

--

Sasuke stared at the large pile of comics, toys, dvds and stuff, he stopped and thought of something. "How did you get all this ?" He asked his brother- who was hugging his life-sized Naruto 'sexy no jutsu' plushie-.

"Oh. I did a few favors here and there.."

- Itachi flashback-

"AAAreee you ready ladies and gentlemen!!???" The hostess asked, her tight leather pants shining in the disco lighting, the tube top a red color that was similar to blood. The crowd cheered wildly. Ruby raised her hand to her ear, and shouted, "What was that, he can't hear you!!!"

"ITTACHII-SAMA!!!"

The lights dimmed down and focused on the figure wearing skin tight pants and a mesh shirt with nothing underneath walking down the runway. he looked at them all, and the fans waited with bated breath, Ruby silent in expectation. He whipped his hair around, throwing it over his shoulder gracefully.

"KYAAA!!"

Ruby smirked and motioned for the music.

A techno beat started and Itachi began to move his hips, making the crowd sway with his movements. Oh yes, blood was flowing down and tissues were being passed around.

The intro lines were heard and finally Itachi began.

"Do it now  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Do it again now  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Gettin' horny now"

More techno songs as people fainted and donated mindlessly to his noble cause.

-End Itachi flashback-

His big brother had stopped and had patted his head. "There are somethings you just can't know until you're older.."

Sasuke had shivered at the possibilities.He will never ask. 

-

Sorry for the shortness, i just had to get this out... Song is "The bad touch" by Bloodhound Gang if you want to know.

On one hand : Please, if you have any suggestions on how Gaara should recieve his mark (hopefully something ridiculus and funny) send it in your review!

I have a myspace (yeah i know) SO please friend me if you can or ask me to write a one shot for you so i don't get rusty or something! I have a livejournal as well! The links are on my profile

Jaa!!


	13. Lustful Uchihas and Big Red Buttons

Phew! We're here once again! I think I threw out my back moving all those boxes. But my new house is nice, the weather is cold and my heater is on, and I'm happily sipping my jasmine tea laced with rum.

Could I ask for more?

You guys did, and that's why this is here!! -Drum roll-

**To unite or divide- Lustful Uchihas and big red buttons, oh my!**

**(super thanks to those who have waited patiently and have put up with my slow updating!! You guys rock!)**

"Naruto-Chan!" the evil emo bastard shrilly screamed across the lawn of the Kazekage's home. Jumping nimbly over a beautiful bird bath, Naruto frantically looked for escape. The bird bath, which was faux porcelain, as Gaara would later admit, was promptly destroyed by the raging Uchiha.

After waking up to Sasuke lighting candles around in his room, Naruto, in a baggy undershirt and black boxers had been hiding ever since. Kyuubi was busy for the moment and spontaneously decided that Sasuke needed Naruto to once again kick his ass.

So with a kunai and a blessing, Kyuubi had made the classic "ram this kunai up his ass" gesture and left him on his own.

Which is why he was here trembling under Gaara's desk. Making Gaara's knees knock together as well.

It took a while for Gaara to notice the absurdity of this situation as he was used to Naruto doing these random things.

"What are you--?"

Sasuke opened the doors with a _bang_, quite rudely. Black rimmed eyes narrowed. So rude in fact that Gaara thrust his sand out and closed the doors with Sasuke outside having been evacuated forcefully.

"Try again."

Again Sasuke opened the door with a lot of pomp and got slammed back into the wall once more.

This happened 6 more times before the other shoe dropped on the Uchiha.

"Ow…what the hell? Why the fuck are there shoes falling in the corridor?!" That of course was a figure of speech the author randomly decided as she was finishing her English homework at this time.

As the opened the doors slowly, learning like a retarded mouse that the glowing crackling wall next to the cheese would kill if touched more than once.

Obviously he finally got it.

"Can I help you?" Gaara intoned. Sasuke narrowed his eyes before, smirking haughtily and strutting in like a chicken. Or a rooster.

"Have you seen Naruto?"

Gaara's eyes strayed down to his desk minutely before staring smugly back at the Uchiha.

Twitch. That was Sasuke, who understood the underlying challenge, repressing the urge to whip it out and compare.

Of course they were talking about a showdown between Chidori and Sabaku Kyuu.

Although we all know what it was _really _about.

Yes, there's the mental image that would have made Orochimaru pass out. Gaara, of course, would have won pants down--I mean hands down.

"You're lying, Sabaku." Sasuke hissed, face turning red and splotchy. Naruto froze underneath the desk, somehow feeling that a very amusing scene would follow this. The Kyuubi conscience that he had acquired through spending his life listening to the demon rant and rave demanded that he do something completely unexpected.

Something perverted enough to shove it in Uchiha's face. And he had just the thing. Reaching under the Kage robes Gaara wore, he moved up, relishing in the way Gaara tensed. Past his legs and brushing over the hipbones jutting out. Reaching the pale taut stomach he wriggled his fingers, the pads barely brushing skin.

Gaara, at the unexpected move made a choked off gasp. Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

A few better placed tickles and Naruto had Gaara supporting himself on the desk, his face suspiciously growing red.

Sasuke's face was also red, from fury as his mind, Itachi-brain washing and all, brought up pictures of what Naruto was doing.

Or what he _assumed _Naruto to be doing. And in his anger blinded fury he grabbed the Kazekage's desk and flung the offending piece of wood away. Naruto on his knees with his hands up Gaara's robe giving off the vibe in which he wished to say, "This-isn't-what-it-looks-like."

Gaara on the other hands was smugly glaring, saying," This-IS-what-it-looks-like-and-MORE" Sasuke brought his hand to his mouth, trying to choke off a sob.

The Uchiha, in traditional Uchiha manner, fell in an overly dramatic and girlish way. (In which all Uchiha managed to perfect by age 3)

In a frilly white dress Sasuke fell on the ground, sobbing into a white handkerchief. In the background shone a watery red sunset and splashing waves crashing on a rock.

"Oh you cruel man!" he wailed, weeping big fat tears that rolled down his face and onto his hanky. "I gave you all my love and you go and pull something like this!" he sobbed.

At this point it would be noted that Gaara and Naruto's minds had gone blank, they were totally blown away; it was so past insane it was back there again. So ridiculous that their minds did not comprehend.

But Sasuke was not finished.

"You played with my heart like..." he trembled probably exerting his minds, trying to come up with a word," like a toy heart!"

Gaara was blown away by the sheer stupidity spewing form the boy's (?) mouth.

Naruto, being the kind soul that he is, eased away from Gaara with a reassuring glance. He crouched down beside the weeping boy.

Ready to give one of his life changing speeches, the blonde wasn't prepared for the sloppy kiss the Uchiha gave out of the desperation. Sasuke pulled back and whispered harshly, "You're mine Uzumaki!

Crazed red Sharingan eyes gazed despairing into shocked blue orbs. The next minute Sasuke was slammed onto the wall by Gaara's sand. Naruto heard a bone sharply crack, clearly breaking; he was then roughly grabbed from behind.

Gaara, in his fury, made even Naruto forget who had more tails. (1) His eyes were lighter, flecks of gold scattered throughout his eyes. The jinchuuriki's skin paler stretched over his snarl of fury. His teeth were sharper and his lips twisted into an ugly smile of sadism. Naruto's breath caught in his throat, reminding him of the chunnin exams.

A sharp sense of pain ran through his heart. '_Don't lose him!' _A little voice said at the back of his mind.

"Gaara..." Naruto whispered softly. The blazing green eyes were still focused intently on the Uchiha. The blond was in front of the Sand ninja now, gently grabbing his shoulders.

"Gaara." he said, again, sterner this time. Still his eyes seemed to be burning pools of hate. Those eyes slid to him, the only warning he had before the redhead harshly claimed his lips, teeth clashing, sharp hands gripping tightly, somewhere through the fog in his mind Naruto notice the pinpricks of pain, awakened something with in him.

The lips on him felt wrong, too unfeeling, more about branding. Naruto did not like this. There was a need for air, but Gaara continued to rape Naruto's mouth. Blue eyes, began to glow red, whiskers lengthened, canines grew.

CHOMP.

Gaara's eyes widened, as the taste of his blood filled his mouth, his arms wrapping tighter around the vulpine boy in his arms.

Waves of emotion passed through both of them, in what Kyuubi would explain as emotional orgasm. Gaara's knees buckled, Naruto's spent form had no choice but to fall with into his chair.

After regaining energy Naruto looked up to see Gaara looking back at him. The piercing gaze was tranquil, almost at peace. A stark difference to the edginess that was present since Naruto's Marking.

A strong, pale hand caressed his cheek conveying words, feelings that weren't' needed to be said aloud.

_'I'm sorry...I love you.. .'_

"Get your filthy hands off my Naruto, Sabaku!"

_'But I effin' hate your teammate.'_

Sasuke, staying true to his 'Biggest Bastard of the Year' award (which he stole from Orochimaru) was making a last attempt to reach the blonde in Gaara's lap.

Said blonde lazily looked over his shoulder at the Uchiha. Before grinning his devilishly eeeevil grin.

Turning back to Gaara, his face was free of any trace of malicious and evil intent. Lowering his eyelids and furrowing his brows Naruto breathed into the Kazekage's ear.

"Make him go away...please" Gaara moved automatically, with almost no control of his actions. Well, foxes were known for their manipulations, trickery and prowess in bed. At least, according to Kyuubi.

And out of anyone, Kyuubi should know, being a fox and all.

In his chair, with a tasty looking blond on his package to boot, Gaara truly felt at peace. The calmness was broken by an Uchiha. Not just any special and oh-so-wonderful Uchiha. The bastard of the all time, Sasuke Uchiha.

Retribution was in order.

Taking his trusty index finger, he jabbed a red button on his chair that Naruto hadn't seen before.

"I just had it installed." Gaara explained proudly.

ANBU guards marched in, with a fiery commander in front wearing a white coat over her ANBU uniform. "Inu Maru reporting for duty, Kazekage-sama!" she saluted in a strange way that Naruto found reminiscent of the far West's military.

Gaara locked eyes with her then sharply glanced to the pathetic lump on the ground. She saluted, "We will remove the Uchiha filth from your presence immediately, sir"

And then both Naruto and Gaara were treated to the satisfying sight of Sasuke being dragged away.

Inu Maru watched with predatory eyes, "Take him to...the Cannon" thunder echoed in the background along with maniacal laughter. As the Uchiha was dragged away, a woman in a jounin uniform appeared, reading off a checklist and adjusting her glasses.

"Kazekage-sama, the female from the Leaf is in the hospital. Apparently she was mauled by one of the recently formed (reformed) "GaaNaru Demon-Love-Love Forever!!" club 'GNDLLF' for short. This attack was led by someone with red--INU-CHAN!?"

The secretary had stopped her reading as she surveyed the room noticing the ANBU captain. Inu Maru's eyes got sparkly and the secretary threw her clip board, hitting Kakashi's face as he peeked in, having followed the secretary.

"HAKUO-CHAN!"

"INU-CHAN!"

Waves crashed behind them as they hugged, a beautiful sunset glistened in the back. Naruto sniffed and squeezed Gaara "I love happy endings."

The red head rolled his eyes '_I don't know why I don't fire them._' he looked outside where the Uchiha was being dragged away to Kakashi who was knocked out a currently kissing the floor. '_Oh …that's why.'_

"Hakuo" Gaara said, slightly amused at how both females stood to attention, serious and awaiting orders. The mating mark on his tongue was itching to do something...private. He began to kiss up Naruto's shoulder before controlling himself, an amazing feat to achieve with a lap full of squirming kitsune.

"I need a new desk, not now though...please leave us." he said before kissing the mark on Naruto's neck.

The two girls sighed dreamily, at Gaara's glare, they ran out. '_Fan girls...' _Gaara mentally snorted.

-

"I can't believe we didn't take pictures of that!" Hakuo exclaimed as they walked towards the shooting ground. Inu Maru held up a camera and wiped away the blood trailing fro her nose.

"How did you--"

"Turned the flash off."

Hakuo grinned and bumped shoulders with her, "I knew there was a reason I liked you."

**-owari-**

(1) This is an obstacle I've noticed some GaaNaru stories have overcome. How Gaara could be seme while Naruto has more tails. Honestly, I have no idea, but Naruto is a bit more kind-hearted and great uke material while Gaara loves to be a pain in the ass (lol). That's my justification.

Next up! What is the Cannon, and what looms in the distance on his fruity way?


End file.
